It's around now that, when you were a kid (and celebrated Christmas), you started to get serious anxiety about one thing and one thing only: ending up on the naughty list. Santa's naughty list. An adorable letter is doing the rounds written by a little boy to his parents, confessing he'd eaten sweets in bed in a desperate bid to be forgiven by the spookily omnipresent Santa Claus.
Look, we've all done it. And, if anything, way more. Here's some other stupid shit we once believed about the most magical Christmas myth:
Believing the urban legends
From elves watching you to your mum explaining that all wrapping paper is the same and that Santa probably shops at the same store - the one resounding feeling you get upon finding out Santa isn't real is betrayal. A web of lies. A nest of deceit. The worst thing, though, is when someone you know ACTUALLY GOT COAL FOR CHRISTMAS - we were all told that my great uncle Bunny (yep) had once got coal for being really naughty and, I mean, that has to be true because whose mother would give their child coal?! No one's. No one's mother or father could ever be that cruel.
Thinking Santa is watching you
... and wondering how the eff he keeps out the way. Whether it's a hastily made-up 'Oh he's invisible' excuse or my dad telling me there were lots of elves listening to everything I said (terrifying), the paranoia often creeps in while you're lying in bed. I remember once being paralysed with fear that I was going to talk in my sleep and say something naughty. And also staring out of the window for hours trying to see elves. When you put it like that it sounds borderline disturbing.
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Worrying that your Christmas list hasn't reached the North Pole
You sent it to 'Fother Cristmis Norf Powl' and, while your parents usually correct your writing constantly ('Say it aloud. Great. And did you hear a 'Z' sound? No? Exactly'), they seemed perfectly happy with it this time. In fact, it went in the post box almost as is without any stamps. Yes, your mum told you that Santa doesn't need stamps but how will it get there? What if it gets lost in the post? What if you've missed something off and you don't get it?! Oh god.
Kicking your sister in the face then feeling misplaced remorse
It's not real remorse if it's Santa-based remorse though, I used to think after I'd attacked my sister for messing up my sticker collection. Then I'd be horrified that the elves/Santa would see I was only ACTING sorry to get on the 'Nice' list. Another friend used to pull the duvet over her head and say all the bad things she desperately wanted to get out because her parents told her that elves had no ears so could only lip-read. Why they felt the need to add this in remains baffling to this day.
Trying to stay awake all night to see Santa and feeling a bit scared
A friend says how, when she was four years old, she asked her parents why it wasn't OK to speak to a stranger but it was fine to let a stranger down her chimney every year. Fair play, but most of us just took this for granted, lying awake in an attempt to hear him and then getting terrified if we did. My parents used to creep out of their rooms and scrape the chimney to make foot-sounds and go into the garden to ring jingle bells. I remember hearing the jingle bells once and nearly shitting myself because if I saw - if I actually SAW - Santa then the world would probably end.
Keeping the magic alive for your siblings even when you Knew
When I found out he wasn't real, I cried so hard I thought I was going to collapse because I thought Christmas was ruined and I'd never be happy again. Turns out, joining forces with your parents to help make the magic happen for your little sister is just as fun PLUS it makes you feel incredibly wise and old. Like a Christmas owl. Plus, you still get presents right?!
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Follow Stevie on Twitter: @5tevieM
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.