A Reddit thread has gone viral after a user asked whether he was an asshole for calling his fiancée lazy for wanting to be a stay at home wife.
The anonymous man who goes by the username 'lazy- fiancé' shared the story on the platform, and received thousands of comments.
In the post he explains that the couple have been dating for three years and he popped the question last month.
After discussing further wedding planning, his fiancée asked if he would be okay with her being a stay-at-home wife.
At first he laughed at the request because he genuinely thought she was joking … but it turns out she was serious.
The man writes, 'I asked her why as we both make pretty good money at our jobs, and we can't afford our current lifestyle with just one income.'
His fiancée reminded him that he makes a lot more money than she does. The man admits’ in the post that while he does make 40% more than her, it still doesn’t seem fair.
She then suggested, ‘We could scale back our lifestyle – it’s been on my mind a lot.’ ‘I just don’t think a 9-5 is for me’, she added.
The man explained, ‘I'm not comfortable with that idea - maybe if we have kids you could be a stay-at-home mum but I'm not cool with you being a stay-at-home wife ‘
After that comment she concluded her fiancé was being ‘manipulative’ since they don’t have children.
What came after was a heated argument between the pair as she yelled ‘You should support my dreams.’
The turning point came when he writes, ‘ So this is where I may be the asshole....'
'In the heat of the moment I said, 'Where is this coming from, why is it your dream to be a stay-at-home wife? Is it your dream to be lazy?'
That comment made her upset and she left the house, stating she would return once he had calmed down.
He concludes his post stating, ‘I'll be real here, I don't want her to be a stay-at-home wife. I'm not okay with being the sole breadwinner, and I do not wish to support this "dream'.
He continued, ‘I want a partner in life, not a dependant doing nothing productive with their days - ‘Am I the asshole?’
This post seemed to hit a nerve with many people as his comments were flooded with opinions from both sides of the argument.
The top comment in the thread says, ‘So she waits until you propose and she thinks she has you wrapped around her finger to tell you her "dream" of being lazy and then has the nerve to say that you're the manipulative one? Jesus.'
Another user agreed replying, ‘Jesus indeed! Holy Christ dude, this is your get-out-of-jail-free card. Take it and run because she's pulling the old bait-and-switch on you, and she's not even smart enough to do it after the wedding.’
There were differing opinions however as one user said, ‘ I agree with everything you said here with one caveat: being stay at home does not automatically make you lazy, even if you don't have children.’
Another made a similar point expressing, ‘Being a stay-at-home-wife can also be work. If she does all the cleaning, cooking, shopping, pet care, etc., that is work. Taking care of a home is a lot of work! It's a completely valid role to want.’
A third said, ‘ Not everyone feels this way. I’m female and my partner is male and he stays home while I work. We both prefer this arrangement as he takes care of 95% of the chores, home improvement, etc. If both people agree to the arrangement I don’t see what the problem is.’
What is clear is that everyone has differing opinions on the idea of a stay-at-home wife/husband. It is all down to personal choice and will either work or not depending on each couple.
So, what do you think? – Is he the asshole for calling his fiancée’s wishes lazy?