How Not To Be A Douche And Spoil TV Shows For Everyone

It really isn't that hard

tv spoiler

by Hanna Hanra |
Published on

What's the most annoying thing in the world? Other than the lad at work who eats apples like a horse, and that girl on the bus having the world's loudest and most banal conversation for the whole ride, it's definitely those people, the ones who think it's their God given right to race to the end of a series and then post about the final episode all over social media. Not everyone watches everything at the same pace. Maybe you were helping your aunt have her beard threaded, or you are saving it all up to binge on in one, glorious go.

Or maybe, maybe you are that person. Like this guy, who trolled women on tinder with Game of Thrones spoilers (if you are, I admire your gall). Maybe you just have to share how great you thought it was at the end of GOT when Brienne of Tarth gave it all up to open that chicken sanctuary. Or perhaps, you're just a social media hungry millennial and you just can't not be part of the conversation. Either way, the chances are, if you are This Person, some of your friendships might be skating on thin ice.

So here's our guide on how to avoid spoiling the party for like, everyone.

**1. Keep it cool. **

Writing, 'OMG the ending of _Orange Is the New Blac_k was so amazing" - is fine. Everyone knows that there is going to be an Easter Egg (that's an actual TV term) at the end of the series, because that's how life works. Writing 'OMG I CANT BELIEVE THAT SHE HONEYTRAPPED ALEX AND THEN ROSA ESCAPED AND KILLED VEE' will just make people hate you. See? I just did it then. And now you hate me.

2. Ask before you spoil.

This one is really simple. Ask your friends where they are up to 'with it'. Not everyone is on the same Dorito mainlining, Girls binging schedule as you. A sample conversation could be like this:

You: So where are you with it?

Friend: Right up to where Shoshanna bleaches her muff and it goes terribly wrong

You: Oh yeah it gets good after that.

3. Be the elusive chanteuse.

When I was at school, our English teacher used to make us do 'taking your pencil for a walk,' which basically meant we could write whatever we wanted for 25 minutes. This however is more like, 'parking your finger at Disneyland and not remembering where it is.' If you can't stop yourself shouting about who the murderer was in Broadchurch*, just take yourself off social media until the shock has died down.

*Did anyone watch this? OMG.

4. Have a party.

It's totally fine to get everyone round to watch an hour and a half of football. Plus extra time and ad breaks. Add it all together and you could definitely guilt free binge at least the last few episodes of Game Of Thrones and find out about Brienne's Bird Sanctuary all together. Because as I mentioned in this piece, watching 4 hours of telly actually isn't like, all that bad.

5. Redaction

Make like you're on The Good Wife and redacting the important information on social media. To wit: I CANT BELIEVE that XXX did XXX over XXX . I mean, you'll look like a wally but at least it will be out your system.

**6. Just have some self restraint. **

Seriously guys.

Follow Hanna on Twitter @HannaHanra

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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