Ah, the great debate is back. This is arguably the biggest friendship test – to split or not to split the bill.
Mumsnet kicked off when user notonyournelleee shared her story, and it really is a tale as old as time. The user refused to split the bill with her friends at a birthday meal which caused a stir in the Mumsnet comments.
However, she brought another element to this debate – how do you split the bill when you haven’t had a sip of expensive alcohol?
We have all been there before whether it’s a relationship or friendship. You know, the awkward back and forth about who got that, or who ate less of this after a meal.
But as I’ve grown up – splitting the bill is honestly just the easiest thing to do. After an enjoyable meal (especially if I’ve had a drink), the last thing I want to do is get my calculator out and squint to find the cost of my carbonara– I’d rather not.
The woman explained how her night tuned sour in a detailed post…
She went out for a friend’s birthday meal with 5 other friends.
They were all happily enjoying the night, her friends got a lot of alcohol, while she claims ’I only had a few lemonades’.
As the night ended the bill came and her friend announced, 'Should we just split the bill then?' However, it was more of a ‘leading statement’ rather than a question. After the calculations it came to just over £40 each. Without the booze the bill would have been half of that.
She said to her friends, 'Sorry, no. You've all drunk quite a bit and I've had no alcohol at all. Would you mind if I pay separately?' They all agreed but afterwards the atmosphere quickly switched leaving a lot of tension in the air.
The next morning the birthday girl messaged her stating she was ‘really out of order and should've just split [the bill]. ‘Everyone was a bit upset' she added. The woman also revealed that she got no word of thanks for her birthday gift to her friend either.
She ended the post by asking, 'Am I being unreasonable to not have split?! I felt like I was being fair there. ‘
Mumsnet users were gripped by this story, leaving more than 1000 comments with divided opinions.
Some users came to her defence saying that she was right to refuse to pay an extra £21 because she hadn't been drinking.
One user responded, ‘Sometimes people don’t want to split, and while it may not suit the person who is getting a good deal, they really still need to respect it. Sending a message the next day is not on.’
While another agreed saying,’ Very cheeky for drinkers to expect their booze costs to be subsidised. It would make me feel that I'd been invited for that very reason.’
One person who related to the situation wrote, ’As someone who doesn't drink alcohol, I would have said exactly the same. Cocktails and doubles with mixers can be £6-£10 each and my sparkling water is £2.’
However, others argued that she shouldn't have gone if she wasn't willing to split the bill, especially because it was a birthday meal.
One user said: ‘I would never not just split the bill - Can't be arsed with all that. But I can afford to pay it and if I couldn't, I wouldn't go to that restaurant/ night out etc. I would also expect to pay towards the birthday person's meal.’
Another mentioned, ‘This has happened to me too. Very often, my meal is much cheaper than everyone else's because I don't have alcohol and usually don't have dessert. I always just cough up when the bill is split equally and accept that I have partly paid for other people's food and drinks.’
A third added: ‘I see where you are coming from, but it was 40 quid. I would just have split it to avoid tension and because I rarely eat out with friends. Having said that your friend is a bitch for texting you like that, and the others need to grow up if that upset them.’
Personally, during a birthday meal especially - I think kicking off about splitting the bill is a bit ridiculous. It makes things unnecessarily awkward for the birthday girl and all attendees. I would have just paid what I was asked for. At a birthday meal you do usually go with the expectation of paying a bit more and she should have been more accepting of that.
But I know not everyone agrees as we’ve seen in the rising Mumsnet comments…each to their own.