Saturday morning, and I’m looking in bewilderment at a near-empty packet of fags. I only bought them the night before. But it’s fine, right? Because I don’t smoke.
Such is the magic, deluded double-think of the social smoker. Because social smokers don’t really smoke. Weeks can sail by virtuously with nary a filter tip touching my lips; my cardigans do not smell like a one of those weird brown pubs full of old men, and I don’t wheeze when I power up the escalator.
But after the third drink: dingdingding! There’s goes the fag bell. And it gets louder with every sip of cider till I either claw one off one of my few friends who still light up, or scoot out of the pub to buy a ten-pack of cheeky menthols. Big house parties, all-night clubbing, or festivals are basically a write-off: this isn’t social smoking, it is binge smoking, a leap from zero to too-many-to-count.
I am not alone in this (occasional) bad habit: a new report in the optimistically titled Preventing Chronic Disease journal suggests that ‘very light smoking’ is on the rise – especially in young women. Analysing 9,789 American women between ages 18 and 25, they found that 27 per cent identified as very light smokers.
This was defined as having less than five fags a day, which, uh, actually doesn’t sound that light - but the authors note that this included a lot of women who recognise the harm smoking does, and indulge only occasionally, a trend particularly prevalent amongst university age women. ‘Social features of college life, including weekend partying, may promote smoking at a very light level,’ they report.
Given it’s not like we entirely ditch the ‘social features’ of our lives the minute we graduate, it’s no surprise that many of us just feel that a night out isn’t quite right unless we spend half of it in the smoking area. We know it’s not really where all the cool kids hang out, but there’s still a sense of naughty joy in nipping out to go two-sies and have a gossip, or bonding with a new acquaintance through lighter-sharing.
And, oh, the joy of smoking when you’re a bit pissed… the first spark, the drag, the delicious burn. Social smoking isn’t a budget-ruining, schedule-intruding need: it only happens when you’re having fun. Ergo: fun = smoking. It’s like my brain has rewired to crave a drag because it is simply part and parcel of having an excellent time.
And binge smoking only really happens on a big night, when taking responsibility for your health is overwhelmed by a general sense of ‘nah, fuckit’ abandon. Cigarettes are one of a several technically poisonous, incredibly jolly substances that alter the brain and make me chat shit to strangers about obscure German bands or the weird shape of my toes or how stars are really amazing, actually, maybe we should just lie down and look at them for a bit… When you’re so wasted you’d dance to fire alarm, puffing on a cancer stick seems like the least of your worries. And if a niggle does enter the mind that this is really, catastrophically bad for you, it’s extinguished as easily as a butt under a Doc Marten boot: there’s something strangely appealing about going into full self-destruct mode now and then.
Which are all very teenage, feeble excuses, I know, showing pathetic self-restraint and deluded self-justification. And if the good news from this recent survey is that at least young women recognise smoking properly is a terrible thing for their health and therefore avoid getting a 40-a-day habit, the bad news is that even the odd Saturday-night binge is still a health concern.
Robert West, Professor of Health Psychology at UCL and expert in the field, confirms that even an occasional spark-up is ‘surprisingly harmful. Risk from heart disease in particular goes up with just a small amount of exposure to smoke.’
As for my ‘I only do it ‘cos it’s intertwined with fun’ theory… well, that’s true – and it’s a sign that I am, in fact, absolutely whipped by cigarettes. ‘Nicotine is a very clever drug that associates the urge to smoke with situations in which smoking normally occurs, even when this is not that often,’ explains West. ‘It causes release of a chemical called dopamine in the reward pathway in the brain - when this happens the brain tells you to pay attention to the situation and what you were just doing - and the next time you are in that situation it creates the impulse to do the same thing.’
If all this wasn’t sobering enough, there’s worse news yet lurking in that report: ‘nondaily smokers may be resistant to quitting because of their reluctance to identify themselves as smokers.’
So, it’s basically social smokers own stupid denial that makes this pastime dangerous. I’d promise to toss my packet in the bin – but lets face it, I’m likely to scrabble around for them again after a few drinks. Damn you, dopamine.
**Like this? Then you might also be interested in: **
Here’s What A 20-Something’s Drinking Habit’s Really Look Like
Follow Holly on Twitter: @Holly_bops
Picture: Francesca Allen
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.