Watching the woman who made us realise it’s ok if we’re still figuring shit out in our 20’s Caitlin Moran interview Lena Dunham – the epitome of that – in person at the Southbank Centre was always going to illicit some gem-like soundbites.
Here’s the most life-affirming lessons we learnt from the creator of Girls – the show that, as Caitlin put it, ‘is about all the things we do that we don’t say. Which makes us feel like we are normal.’ And thank Lena and co. for that.
**1. If you can find something you love doing and make it your work, you’re winning **
Or as Lena put it: ‘I guess you could say that anxiety is what keeps us working, makes us think “Never stop, never sleep till I’m dead.” But work is one of the ways that we process what we’ve been through. I truly think there’s a way to work and be happy.’
READ MORE: Lena Dunham Has Released A Ton Of Brilliant Advice Videos In YouTube
**2. Dress for yourself – and resolutely no-one else **
‘Dressing like yourself feels really good. People take it as an offence that you…didn’t dress to please them [on the red carpet]. And people love a story, like: “She came to Hollywood kooky, and look at her now!”’ Lena said. ‘My pyjama collection is bigger than that of my regular clothes. I have a sweater of my mother’s that has a pissed-off suffragette on it, which is the coolest thing I own. If I have that, and a triple XL pair of men’s pants, I’m good.’
Something that makes us rather pleased as we look down at our own weekend attire whilst writing this…
**3. Never apologise for your own successes **
‘As women, when we’re successful, we’re taught that we should apologise for it. But women should not be forced to represent everybody else,’ was Lena’s way of putting it.
**4. Try to ignore the constant pressure to look a certain way **
‘The Daily Mail said I had “debuted a noticeably-slimmer face.” Debuted. And I was outraged from a feminist point of view, but also like, “Thank you.” Even though it was exactly the same face. That’s also the horrid part about cat-calling. What I find most destructive is that it’s horrible, but also feels validating. And that combination is super-dark.’
READ MORE: Caitlin Moran On How To Deal With Life When You're Still Figuring It Out
**5. Anxiety can be crippling. But it’s not usually in proportion to the problem **
‘My dad said to me: “Fear isn’t what keeps the plane in the air.” And that was what made me think that actually, by worrying, we can’t prevent what’s challenging. All the things that have really thrown me, have been the things that I have not thought to worry about.’
**6. Eating healthy is better for you. But when it all goes wrong don’t beat yourself up about it **
‘I drink a LOT of green tea. And go on weird kicks where I only eat English muffins for six days at a time. I’m not a coffee drinker, but I do start the day with a very large breakfast. I read a book called Daily Rituals, an account of what [famous people] would eat for breakfast, and there was one guy who ate the biggest breakfast – like nine kinds of sausage. That made me feel more justified,’ said Lena of her food routine.
And what of that chapter in Not That Kind Of Girl where she lists everything she ate for an entire month? ‘I almost died when I reread that bit. Keeping a food diary is just an exercise in self shame.’
7. After a break-up, put down your phone
‘I’ve definitely taken a crying selfie or two. When my college boyfriend broke up with me, I took a few photos of myself sobbing, and emailed them to him. I don’t know why. It did not reverse the break up.’
Good to know it’s not just us then… Even Hollywood superstars send regrettable Snapchats sometimes.
You can buy Lena's _Not That Kind Of Girl n_ow.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.