A Few Silly Mistakes You’ve Probably Made On Your Holibobs

Snogging a bar manager; fail


by Jess Commons |
Published on

In no-duh news of the week, British people apparently do things they regret while they’re on holiday.

Participants in a study admitted that when they head off on their hols, they eat too much junk food, get drunk and smoke. Further to that, 2% said they’d performed a sex act in public and one in 10 admitted to having sex without a condom while abroad.

Here’s a few mistakes you’ve definitely made on your hols.

Gone sunscreen-free

Day one, you were super vigilant. You’ve seen those Boots adverts where they put a model’s skin under a UV light and all the gross sun spots they’ve picked up from worshipping the sun with their beautiful, lithe bodies. By day four on the beach, you figure your naturally milky-white skin has probably caught up with the melanin count of the locals – especially since you can now notice a marked different in the shade of white your bum is and the shade of almost-white your back now is – and given up on the old sun cream. Cue the most painful shower of your life several hours later and prepare for snow globe levels of skin shedding in a few days time.

Got off with someone inappropriate

Whether you’ve got a boyfriend or your fumble was just with a truly terrible individual, you’ve almost definitely made a mistake in this area while abroad. It could be all the tanned, toned (and not so toned) bodies, the copious amounts of WKD or the hot summer nights but for some reason, getting off with completely inappropriate members of the opposite (or same) sex comes part and parcel with going on hols. In case you ever need reminding of that, just take a look back at the barrage of emails from that lad from Liverpool who was managing the dingy bar you spent every night in. Turns out you’ll do a lot more for a free shot than you thought. Who knew?

Done something illegal

Just because you’re on your holidays and you're in a different country, doesn’t mean that you’re above the law – no matter how shitty your chosen holiday destination might feel. Even in Faliraki, pissing in the street is not cool with the local police – it’s just they’ve got a whole host of other crap to deal with before they get to little old you, popping a squat on the main strip. Same goes for shagging in public, stealing food on the way back to your hotel and breaking into private property like that time you hopped over a wall. Who knew?

Got really, really drunk on your last night

Flying is in itself, the most unnatural form of travel humans have invented, and there is nothing worse than getting on a three-hour plane journey hung the fuck over. And yet, when you had a chance to head home at a sensible time after a few beers on your last night, you were all like, ‘NAH, I’M ON ME ’OLIDAYS’ and threw caution, and dignity, to the wind. Way to find out that chucking up Apple Sourz in a sick bag while the plane taxis down the runway is the fastest way to make everyone on your flight hate your guts.

Thought you were invincible

File under swimming in the sea hammered at 3am, climbing really, really tall things and getting on mopeds with people you’re not entirely sure are sober and/or able to drive. That nice little scar up your left leg from Ibiza ’08 serves as a reminder of that one. Shame it didn't stop you having a go at climbing that palm tree in Malaga ’09. Your tailbone still feels a bit funny if you sit down for too long.

Follow Jess on Twitter @jess_commons

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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