Menstruation, also known as periods, time of the month, being on the blob, Aunt Flo and painting the town red. Those monthly female happenings which must not be named. The Lord Voldemort of biology, products associated with the monthly shedding of the lining of your womb somehow end up in an aisle named ‘feminine hygiene’ in supermarkets up and down the country.
You’d think, by now, that we’d all be a bit better about talking about periods. That women wouldn’t feel embarrassed about bringing them up and men would not longer fulfil that unhelpful teenage stereotype of thinking that they’re gross or awkward.
It seems this isn’t the case.
There’s a new app called ‘Shvrk’ which let’s guys track their partner’s period. Apparently, the v is silent and is actually an inverted a which standard for vayjayjay. It’s pronounced ‘shark’, yeah, we don’t get it either.
It was the idea of a graduate from NYU over in the states, Monica Raffaeli, 26. Apparently, she came up with the app because she wanted to ‘end the awkward conversations couple have about menstruation.
The app sends notifications to a woman’s partner to let them know when ‘shark week’ is coming. What a euphemism. This is about as helpful as telling toddlers that their vaginas are ‘flowers’.
The app’s Instagram is full of pictures of sharks, presumably the whole thing is a rather elongated reference to ‘surfing the crimson wave’ another period based metaphor which relates to the old wives’ tale that women shouldn’t go in the sea if they’re on their period because they’ll be eaten by sharks who can suposedly smell the blood (sharks can’t smell guys, the way they sense stuff is all about electroreception).
Once one partner downloads the app they have to ‘cast a line’ to their significant other so that they can sync up with each other.
Raffaelli, who is currently doing a master’s in integrated digital media, had the idea for the app because of how uncomfortable she felt about bringing up her period with a long distance boyfriend, according to the New York Post. She told them,
‘No more misunderstandings, no more ending up in the doghouse, no more bloody surprises’.
‘I knew it would have to have some appeal to guys – like, you’ll get laid if you know about this.’
Now, she’s not completely off point here. We should be able to talk about our periods. We should own them. We shouldn’t shy away from the fact that we don’t always feel amazing when we’re in the middle of them. However, that conversation isn’t one that needs any more weird euphemisms and unhelpful metaphors.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.