‘I’ve Had Sex With Five People In The Past Few Weeks’: The Sex Ban Might Be Over, But For Some It Never Existed

When you think about the coronavirus pandemic, sex isn’t one of the first things that springs to mind. But for many singletons, lockdown restrictions lobbed the possibility of a shag into the long grass. ‘When can we next have sex?’ has been the question on the unkissed lips of almost all the single people I know… myself included.

The Government answered some of our prayers recently, when they announced the introduction of new ‘support bubbles’ from 13 June in England (different rules apply in other parts of the UK). Single people who live alone are now able to meet in a private space with another single person who lives alone. Roughly translated, some of us can have sex again.

That’s all very well for those who can now run back into the open arms of their long-distance partners, or those, like me, who have someone in mind. But for others, it throws up a series of difficult questions: do they need to form an exclusive bubble with the next person they meet? What if they don’t like each other; can they ditch the bubble and start again? And is everyone actually going to stick to the confusing new set of rules?

If history has taught us anything, it’s that prohibition has an intensifying effect on desire – and based on my experience and that of many people I know, Lockdown Horn has been a very real thing. In my case, as a single person who lives alone, resisting opportunities when they have arisen (which they have) has been a real test of my resolve. Sure, there’s been some days when I’ve found myself gazing longingly at my postman, and it’s got to the stage where I can’t watch people touching on TV without reaching for a sex toy. But I’ve been strict about meeting up with anyone because we’re all in it together, aren’t we? Or so I thought.

I ran an anonymous poll on Twitter to ask my single followers and those isolating away from partners who had, and hadn’t, broken the lockdown rules for sex. Of the 435 people who responded, just over a third said they had transgressed. ‘I broke lockdown last weekend,’ 29-year old Liz* tells me of her rendezvous with a guy she started dating just before the pandemic. ‘We both live alone so I figured it was minimal risk – I just couldn’t take the lack of physical touch any more.’

The same is true for 32-year-old Yasmin. ‘I’ve been having quite a lot of sex,’ she confesses. ‘I was on proper lockdown for weeks but then, after the Dominic Cummings scandal happened, I lost respect for the rules.’ Yasmin, who is queer, has been making up for lost time meeting up with people on various dating apps. ‘I’ve had sex with four or five people over the past few weeks.’

Do either of them feel guilty? ‘The condom broke, I had to take emergency contraception and now I have a UTI,’ Liz explains. ‘I guess some people would call that karma.’ But Yasmin wishes she’d broken the rules sooner than she did. ‘Not having anyone touch me – sexually or otherwise – for seven weeks was weird, but it did make it even better when I finally did it.’

Still, Gigi Engle, a sexologist and relationship therapist, advises easing back in slowly. ‘Be clear about your intentions with a partner and communicate your needs. If you’re not ready to get completely physical right away, that’s totally OK. If you’re looking to get on it ASAP, that’s also OK. This is uncharted territory for everyone and we’re all trying to get our bearings. We’ve never been through something like this and should be gentle with ourselves.’

As for me, now the rules have loosened I’ll be cautiously exploring physical intimacy again. And, who knows, maybe ‘Do you want to form a sex bubble with me?’ will become 2020’s new pick-up line.

*name has been changed

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