Remember those golorious days of post-exams summer time at school? Hours spent telling teachers you could definitely learn if they held the lesson in the playground, urging them to put barely educational films like American Pie on the TV, utterly necessary lunch time waterfights and day-glo ice lollies on the way home?
Well, one fantastic tradition – that of rolling the waistband of your skirt up until you feel breeze against your fanny – has been ruined for the female pupils at Trentham High School in Stoke. Because the headmistress has banned girls from wearing skirts!
Dr Rowena Blencowe took action after girls altered their skirts until they ‘barely covered their bottoms’, and male members of staff got embarrassed about asking the girls to unfurl them.
Now? The girls must either wear a knee-length skirt with tights, or a pair of trousers. For now, that is. From September, if they’re not wearing ‘business-like’ trousers, they’ll be sent home, reports The Metro. Whatever ‘business-like’ means – The City is festooned with women in above-the-knee dresses and there are plenty of women who make big business out of wearing nothing more than a pair of nipple tassles.
And all this, after aeons of girls having to fight to even be given the right to wear trousers to school!
It was 30°C in Stoke on the Wednesday just gone. Can you imagine the warmth – and thrush – the girls could have endured under a layer of fluffy denier tights and polyester standard-issue skirts?
Well, Dr Blencowe, we have a solution to the problem. Because we all know that trousers can be just as sexy as skirts, what with them potentially containing young girls and everything.
Instead of having a polite word with male teachers and explaining to them that they’re adults acting* loco parentis* and that getting embarrassed about young girls’ bodies says more about them than the girls trying to keep cool (in both temperature and trend), why don’t you just ban girls from having legs? Or bums? Or vaginas? Or even existing at the school?
Not only would it save your male teachers any blushes, it’ll save the girls’ parents oodles in all those extra uniform/books/stationery/further education costs.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.