Bad news for everybody on the planet, everywhere. Without even giving us a week to mourn the loss of our Saturday morning bacon sarnie, the killjoys at the International Agency for Research on Cancer has released a list of even more things that will undoubtedly destroy us all.
Some are more of a problem than others. Most of us won’t be working in a mine or inhaling any mustard gas, so those aren’t really a big deal. And obviously, not everything on this list is groundbreaking – everyone knows that smoking can cause lung cancer, as does using any sort of smokeless tobacco product.
Also, we all know that using sunbeds increases your risk of skin cancer, so please guys, ditch the tanning studio and slather on the SPF 30. If you really just can’t embrace the pale and interesting look, then take solace in the fact that fake tan does not appear here and go crazy with the St Tropez. Fake tan won’t give you wrinkles, either.
Unfortunately, however, everyone’s BFF alcohol just keeps screwing with us. On top of its addictive, liver destroying properties, booze can also give you breast, larynx, liver, oesophagus, oral cavity and pharynx cancers. It can probably give you pancreatic cancer, too. Enjoy your weekend!
But despite your tan, your social life and your fry up all being ruined forever, there’s a small silver lining: red meat doesn’t feature on the list, as it’s only ‘probable’ that it causes cancer, unlike our processed frenemies sausages, ham and bacon, which are essentially pre-packaged slices of death. So, at least we still have steak. (For now.)
Here’s the full list of offending items:
-
Tobacco smoking
-
Sunlamps and sunbeds
-
Aluminium production
-
Arsenic in drinking water
-
Auramine production
-
Boots and shoe manufacture and repair
-
Chimney sweeping
-
Coal gasification
-
Coal tar distillation
-
Coke production (fuel, not drugs – cocaine manufacturers are all good)
-
Furniture and cabinet making
-
Haematite mining (underground) with exposure to radon
-
Secondhand smoke
-
Iron and steel founding
-
Isopropanol manufacture
-
Magenta dye manufacturing
-
Occupational exposure as a painter
-
Paving and roofing with coal tar pitch
-
Rubber industry
-
Occupational exposure of strong inorganic acid mists containing sulphuric acids
-
Naturally occurring mixtures of aflatoxins
-
Alcohol
-
Areca nut
-
Betel quid without tobacco
-
Betel quid with tobacco
-
Coal-tar pitches
-
Coal tars
-
Indoor emissions from household combustion of coal
-
Diesel exhaust
-
Mineral oils, untreated and mildly treated
-
Phenacetin, analgesic mixtures containing
-
Plants containing aristolochic acid
-
Polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs)
-
Chinese-style salted fish
-
Shale oils
-
Soots
-
Smokeless tobacco products
-
Wood dust
-
Processed meat
-
Acetaldehyde
-
4-Aminobiphenyl
-
Aristolochic acids and plants containing them
-
Arsenic and arsenic compounds
-
Asbestos
-
Azathioprine
-
Benzene
-
Benzidine
-
Benzo[a]pyrene
-
Beryllium and beryllium compounds
-
Chlornapazine
-
Bis(chloromethyl)ether
-
Chloromethyl methyl ether
-
1,3-Butadiene
-
1,4-Butanediol dimethanesulfonate (Busulphan, Myleran)
-
Cadmium and cadmium compounds
-
Chlorambucil
-
Methyl-CCNU (1-(2-Chloroethyl)-3-(4-methylcyclohexyl)-1-nitrosourea; Semustine)
-
Chromium(VI) compounds
-
Ciclosporin
-
Contraceptives, hormonal, combined forms (those containing both oestrogen and a progestogen)
-
Contraceptives, oral, sequential forms of hormonal contraception (a period of oestrogen-only followed by a period of both oestrogen and a progestogen)
-
62 Cyclophosphamide
-
Diethylstilboestrol
-
Dyes metabolized to benzidine
-
Epstein-Barr virus
-
Oestrogens, nonsteroidal
-
Oestrogens, steroidal
-
Oestrogen therapy, postmenopausal
-
Ethanol in alcoholic beverages
-
Erionite
-
Ethylene oxide
-
Etoposide alone and in combination with cisplatin and bleomycin
-
Formaldehyde
-
Gallium arsenide
-
Helicobacter pylori (infection with)
-
Hepatitis B virus (chronic infection with)
-
Hepatitis C virus (chronic infection with)
-
Herbal remedies containing plant species of the genus Aristolochia
-
Human immunodeficiency virus type 1 (infection with)
-
Human papillomavirus type 16, 18, 31, 33, 35, 39, 45, 51, 52, 56, 58, 59 and 66
-
Human T-cell lymphotropic virus type-I
-
Melphalan
-
Methoxsalen (8-Methoxypsoralen) plus ultraviolet A-radiation
-
4,4’-methylene-bis(2-chloroaniline) (MOCA)
-
MOPP and other combined chemotherapy including alkylating agents
-
Mustard gas (sulphur mustard)
-
2-Naphthylamine
-
Neutron radiation
-
Nickel compounds
-
4-(N-Nitrosomethylamino)-1-(3-pyridyl)-1-butanone (NNK)
-
N-Nitrosonornicotine (NNN)
-
Opisthorchis viverrini (infection with)
-
Outdoor air pollution
-
Particulate matter in outdoor air pollution
-
Phosphorus-32, as phosphate
-
Plutonium-239 and its decay products (may contain plutonium-240 and other isotopes), as aerosols
-
Radioiodines, short-lived isotopes, including iodine-131, from atomic reactor accidents and nuclear weapons detonation (exposure during childhood)
-
Radionuclides, α-particle-emitting, internally deposited
-
Radionuclides, β-particle-emitting, internally deposited
- Radium-224 and its decay products
- Radium-226 and its decay products
- Radium-228 and its decay products
- Radon-222 and its decay products
- Schistosoma haematobium (infection with)
- Silica, crystalline (inhaled in the form of quartz or cristobalite from occupational sources)
- Solar radiation
- Talc containing asbestiform fibres
- Tamoxifen
- 2,3,7,8-tetrachlorodibenzo-para-dioxin
- Thiotepa (1,1’,1”-phosphinothioylidynetrisaziridine)
- Thorium-232 and its decay products, administered intravenously as a colloidal dispersion of thorium-232 dioxide
- Treosulfan
- Ortho-toluidine
- Vinyl chloride
- Ultraviolet radiation
- X-radiation and gamma radiation
Like this? You may also be interested in:
Almost Survived Stoptober? Study Shows A Month Off Drinking Could Prevent Illness In Later Life
Things You Only Know If You Survived Cancer, But Your Mum Didn’t
Which Health and Beauty Drinks Are Actually Worth Your Cash?
Follow Charley on Twitter: @charrrkey
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.