Breakfast is, statistically, one of the worst times to take selfies. You’ve just woken up, there’s a bit of dried spit on your face, and your hair is in more directions than an arachnid game of Twister. But that’s all set to change as you can now take a selfie and have it burned onto some bread.
Yep, a new appliance, which is sure to be filling up the corners of murky charity shops come 2050, when we can print 3D clones and get them to fold our clothes for us, has made it possible for us to toast our faces onto our bread. And then eat our own face.
All you have to do is send a picture of yourself to Burnt Impressions, a company based in Vermont, and they’ll make a toaster that burns your image into the slice. You do have to pay, but it's really not that much – at $75 (£43.85) for the toaster. Which, provided you’re not one of those wheat-phobes, is pretty good.
Plus, think of all the things you can do with it. From daubing jam on your toasty cheeks to show what a new blusher could do for you to buttering up your bready head to get an idea of how you’d look blonde, the customization opportunities are endless and go way beyond self-decapitation by hunger.
The company admits that the technology isn’t entirely up to scratch, saying on its website: ‘We are good, but remember fine detail is darn near impossible to achieve with heat and toast. If we squint and can’t see your face, we will cancel [the] order and refund your purchase.’
But we wonder if they’ll also be good at deflecting requests from people submitting all sorts of images to be used for the machine? People will certainly end up requesting more than just their faces be burned onto toast, right? Or are we all that selfie-obsessed that we won’t even think to get some genitals onto our breakfast? It’s at yeast worth a mention…
** Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophwilkinson**
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.