What are your pet-peeves? For some people it’s chewing loudly or when someone is always late - but for this Reddit user it’s being called a nickname instead of her actual name. This mum and Reddit user asked the forum ‘Am I the arsehole for requesting to be called by my name instead of ‘mama’?'
The user explains in herpostthat she is a mother of two and pregnant. Her family’s nurse repeatedly called her “mama” whenever she comes for a check-up about her pregnancy, or for one of her kids. She writes, ‘I tried gently correcting to my name, but she’d just give me a look and keep it up the next time. She continues, ‘I asked to be called by my name, to which the nurse said she was being nice, and I didn’t need to be rude.’ The mother replied stating, ‘I did not mean to be rude, but I have a name and I’m only a mother to my kids.’ The nurse argued back reminding her that calling someone ‘mamma’ is a nice thing to do. The nurse told her,’ You should be proud and happy that you’re a mama.’
She continued, ‘When it’s needed to address me as a parent you can call me mother because I don’t like variations of the word.’ The nurse told her that is a terrible choice because only kids who don’t love their mothers call them that and that normal families use mom or mommy or mama etc.The doctor at the hospital heard the discussion between them and told the nurse to call the mother what she asked. However, during the appointment the doctor also voiced that her request to the nurse was ‘strange’ and ultimately took the nurse’s side. The mother left the appointment stating, ‘I stand by what I said,’ despite leaving the doctor and nurse unsatisfied.
When she reported back to her family their opinions were varied. Her husband said she was unnecessarily rude and so did her sister. He sister agreed with the nurse that she ‘should be happy to be called so. ‘ However, her mum said she’s glad she spoke up because she’s always hated that too but never found the voice to speak up.
One of the top comments agreed with the user stating,’ The nurse seemed to be using it like some use honey or sweetie. In some areas, that’s completely normal and acceptable even with strangers. But you stop if someone asks you to. Maybe you slip up occasionally because it’s so ingrained, but you still try. You don’t double down and demand acceptance. And you definitely don’t tell a woman she must not love her children for not wanting to be called mama!’
Another user could relate to the situation, ‘I just want to add that it's super common when you have kids. When I gave birth I was called by my name right until my kid was born. Then everyone referred to me by mama or mommy. Drove me nuts. Since than every doctor, nurse, teacher etc calls me mom, mommy or mama if I'm with my kid. Hell, retail workers and restaurant staff do it too.
This comment seemed to firmly side with the mother, ‘You’re not the arsehole. I’m a physician, and I think it’s weird and unprofessional to call someone by anything other than their preferred name.’
So, is the nurse being endearing or just plain rude?