The more eagle eyed (read: pervy) of you out there will have noticed that of late, a new boyband have been carving themselves out a slice of the teenage fandom cake for their very own.
5 Seconds Of Summer are an 'Australian pop punk and rock band', known more colloquially amongst those in the know (read: everyone) as 'The Australian One Direction'.
Their fans (and OMG there are loads) are hardcore – if you want to get some perspective on just how big the band is, just check out this video of girls queuing to see them on the Jimmy Kimmel show.
In the band are Michael Clifford (he’s the one that dyes his hair – think Matt from Busted), Luke Hemmings (he’s terribly dishy and has a lip ring which means that he’s not ‘classic’ boyband material despite having the cheekbones of young Josh Hartnett), Calum Hood (who looks like a nice enough chap) and Ashton Irwin who is, as far as we can tell, is the Harry Styles of the gang. All in all, they seem like four upstanding young gentlemen.
But here’s the thing. We’ve just watched their new video for single Amnesia (‘It’s like we never happened, was it just a lie?’) and we’re SO sorry 5SOS fans but we just don’t get it. Perhaps we just allied our allegiances with the 1D boys too early on or maybe we’re just too damn old. Which is probably the most likely explanation. Anyways, here’s why in our humble opinion, 1D out boybands 5SOS every time.
One Direction Are Much Better At Frolicking In The Water Than 5SOS
5 Seconds Of Summer absolutely get points for trying here – the inflatable giraffe is a really nice touch and they’ve even got Ashton in a white t-shirt, just like Harry in the Live While We’re Young video. But you’ve got to give this one to the 1D boys really. They chose to do their water frolicking in a LAKE. That’s some Bear Grylls shit right there. Plus, you know, Niall. <3 <3 <3
Harry Styles Can Do ‘Sad’ Way Better Than Ashton Irwin
Seriously, there are no pictures of this Ashton kid being upset, the gif below is literally the saddest he’s ever been in his entire life. He’s got a great smile for sure but c’mon kid, you gotta get some depth. Harry’s got happy, he’s got sad, he’s got confused, hey, he’s even got deep n’ pensive. SO many levels.
1D Fanfiction Is WAY Racier
I mean, amiright? Probably 8 inches? Hellooo Harry. On a serious note, don’t ever go down the fanfiction rabbithole on a hangover, I’m now traumatised and also visciously nauseous.
*One Direction *
5SOS
One Direction’s Fans Are Way More Hardcore
For reals, remember the girl that claimed to have killed her chihuahua becayse Liam wouldn’t follow her? That’s commitment to the cause, even if she did turn out to be lying. As for 5SOS, their fans seem a little bit less erm, homicidal as of yet but given the length of time the 5SOS guys have been famous, there’s still time we suppose. Watch this space for kitty hangings, bunny burnings and goldfish punchings.
READ MORE: George Ezra: Zayn Is My Favourite Member Of One Direction
**One Direction Have Way Better Lyrics
**'Said her name was Georgia Rose, and her Daddy was a dentist' shows ingenuity, a commitment to good oral hygiene and a capability to Think Outside The Box. Whereas, 'I'm trying to find the words to say I wish I was, I wish I was beside you'? Snoresville. Sorry.
One Direction Have Niall
And everyone knows Niall’s the best person in the world.*
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.