Everyone has those little things that make them shudder. The classics are fingernails on a blackboard and when people whistle their S’s. Some less famous but more familiar ones might people typing on their phones with long fake nails, or compulsively pushing their lip piercing in and out and in and out forever.
You know what we mean, right? These things get your goat. Make you feel a bit grim. Occasionally compel you to punch someone in the face. Simple stuff.
Now imagine if one of those things was a fully-fledged phobia that would ruin your breakfasts and mid-morning snacks for the rest of your life. We’re talking about arachibutyrophobia. Otherwise known as the phobia of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth. Yeah, that’s an accurate, real life definition.
Most of us will sympathise – the feeling of peanut butter on the roof of your mouth is universally disgusting, but for actual phobia sufferers, it’s a whole different kettle of fish.
Here are five questions we know you immediately have. We’ve answered them in advance. Because we’re super organised like that.
What does arachibutyrophobia mean again? The fear of what now?
First thing’s first, it’s not a phobia of peanut butter. You’re not actually afraid of the concept of peanut butter, like the very idea that anyone could bash nuts into a smooth consistency is deeply horrifying. No no no. This is specific to the roof of your mouth. That coated, sticky, butter. All over your mouth. You actually have to scrape it off with your tongue, otherwise maybe it would just stay there forever.
How do you pronounce arachibutyrophobia?
Arackee-buti-yiro-phobia seems to be the closest we can get to a decipherable phonetic pronunciation guide, but we’ve heard lots of stumbling attempts… “Oh, don’t you have ara-tche-butt-io-phobia” Honestly, peanutbutterroofofmouthphobia is genuinely catchier.
Is arachibutyrophobia actually real?
Hell yeah. And it can even be triggered by external factors. All you need is the thought to creep into your head, and suddenly holding a conversation with someone who is innocently chomping down on a PB&J sandwich becomes nightmarish. Even imagining that coated roof of mouth, or the thickness it gives their voice, is enough to send chills down the spine and get the bile juices flowing. Note to all friends of arachibutyrophobia sufferers: please for the love of god leave your peanut buttery consumption to private times. This is the real deal.
What causes arachibutyrophobia?
Known as a ‘specific’ phobia, arachibutyrophobia focuses on one extremely niche thing, which means that, even though it can broadly come out of a fear of choking, or a fear of sticky substances, it has manifested itself in evil peanut butter. Why? Experts reckon that specific phobias are indicative of some kind of traumatic event from your past. So, any memories of getting a jar of peanut butter stuck in your oesophagus may point towards the cause. Jus’ sayin.
Is it just peanut butter?
Sometimes it’s not just limited to peanut butter. The roof of mouth coating situation is actually more common than you would think: Nutella, that weird-but-delicious Lotus Biscoff spread, bananas andavocados if they’re just the right amount of ‘overipe’ can have that affect. Hell, even a heavily brewed cup of tea or a claggy red wine can bring on the nausea. Basically, you’re never safe.
How do you cure arachibutyrophobia?
Like with any behavioural disorder or phobia, it’s not really something you can treat medically. With drugs. Sorry guys. Good news is that a bout of CBT can massively help. So get one booked in.
Feeling sorry for arachibutyrophobia sufferers yet? If we’re describing you, you have our deepest sympathies. We promise never to walk towards you holding a Reece’s peanut butter cup. Honest.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.