Following the ground-breaking 'news' that heterosexual men find healthy, slim women attractive (thanks University of Aberdeen) we thought it might be worth asking our own sizeable investigative team to publish the results of several on-going studies.
See if you can spot which of these studies are genuine scientific or sociological studies and which we've basically just made up to have a laugh. (Answers at the bottom of the article)
1. Heterosexual men find women more attractive than their male equivalents
A sample group of 12 heterosexual men are reported to have reported higher levels of sexual arousal when looking at pictures of naked women than an equivalent photograph of four male engineers measuring an angle with a protractor.
2. Young people worse at driving when on the phone
A study by the University of Utah into the driving habits of younger people has found that lighting a cigarette and breaking up with someone over the phone, while trying to execute a three-point turn may lead to 'deficiencies in driving'
3. Vegetables contain higher concentration of vitamins than paper, blue tac, tin foil and bricks
A chemical break-down of 17 different vegetables including carrots, beetroot, courgettes and brocolli were all found to contain considerably higher concentrations of vitamins than the same weight of building materials, processed paper and adhesives.
4. Dogs show preference for four-legged perambulation, both within and outside the house
A sample of six dog breeds were monitored both within and outside of a house in Munich for over six weeks. Scientists reported, after watching the footage and based on anecdotal evidence, that the majority of dogs preferred to walk on four legs both inside and outside, even in the presence of human 'control' subjects.
5. Women more able to perform manual tasks while awake
There is a significant increase in female manual activity including lifting, carrying, walking, chopping, unlocking and fastening when women are 'awake' or 'conscious'.
6. Wearing high heels is less comfortable than trainers
A study found that nearly 64 percent of older women who reported hind-foot pain regularly wore high heels, pumps or sandals at some point in their lives, according to the Institute for Ageing Research of Hebrew SeniorLife.
7. Eating fat can lead to an exponential increase in body fat
A high fat diet may be related to an increase in body fat among human subjects, scientists have found.
8. Loss of hair in men may lead to lower self-esteem
Of the men surveyes, 62% agreed that hair loss could negatively affect self-esteemand cause anxieties over ageing and levels of attraction.
9. People who laugh regularly report feeling ‘more cheerful’ than non-laughing individuals
Individuals interviewed over a three-week period reported a high correlation between 'feeling cheerful' and 'laughing' in both the northern and southern hemisphere.
10. Drinking water may lead to a 23% increase in toilet visits during the working day
A diet that includes an increased quantity of water (10 pints and above) will lead to a subsequent high rate of toilet visits, possibly due to rates of urination.
11. Having friends is nice
A 10-year Australian study found that older people with a large circle of friends were 22* less likely to die during the study period than those with fewer friends.
12. Women’s definition of ‘good looking’ significantly different across different individuals
When interviewed, female subjects reported to find 'several different' characteristics attractive. Furthermore, those characteristics were found to be different among different women, casting doubt on the 'all women want exactly the same thing at all times' theory.
13. Exercise linked to weight loss, increased heart rate and greater muscle definition
People who take up regular exercise are found to have more defined muscles and a decrease in body weight after several months, and to experience an increased heart rate during the hours of exercise.
14. People tend to wear more clothes when it's cold
Based on two existing databases, the outdoor temperature at 6 a.m. seems to affect people's choice of clothes.
15. Teenage girls are less likely to be married than women in their 30s
Adolescent girls in Britain are often significantly less married than financially stable, religious or 'settled' women in their 30s.
16. Desk-based jobs produce less sweat than manual labour
Jobs that involve several hours of sitting at a desk, typing and answering the phone produce lower levels of sweat than jobs that involve climbing scaffoling, shovelling sand, running, carrying breeze blocks and digging.
17. People with high sex drive tend to have more sexual partners than those who express ‘little interest love-making’
Individuals in a long-term study were found to have a higher number of sexual partners, and more sexual experiences if they defined themselves as 'bang up for it, all the time, with anyone'. While those who classified themselves as 'just not that interested in sex, to be honest,' appeared to have less sex.
18. Loud noises found to be ‘less pleasant’ during hangovers
Fire alarms, foxes having sex, drills, plane engines, shouting parents and fog horns are all found to be 'less pleasant' when a subject had drunk a bottle and a half of white wine, smoked a packet of 10 cigarettes and slept in a chair.
19. Drunk people are more likely to have unsafe sex
Of the 12 studies included in the quantitative synthesis, our pooled analysis indicated that an increase in BAC of 0.1 mg/ml resulted in an increase of 5.0% (95% CI: 2.8–7.1%) in the indicated likelihood (indicated by a Likert scale) of engaging in unprotected sex.
20. Young women more likely to eat after period of fasting
The majority of women studied were found to have an increased appetite after several hours of not eating.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.