Two of the most polarising figures in politics – Russell ‘Let’s Start A Revolution And Stop Voting’ Brand and Nigel ‘I Hate Eastern European People’ Farage – are due to go on Question Time next week, and it’s going to be goddamn fascinating. Mainly because Russell refers to Nigel quite commonly as ‘that racist bloke’, is usually hilariously entertaining and totally unafraid when on TV, and Nigel is a bit racist and pretty much the embodiment of everything Russell opposes.
People who never watch Question Time are going to watch this episode. It’ll probably break the TV as we all frantically tweet every Brand hair-flick and every time Farage says anything other than ‘hello’ just to show we’re on the pulse, and also because they’ll probably both end up fist-fighting audience members, either metaphorically or literally.
Here’s a few questions we’re hoping people ask next Thursday. (Aside from, ‘Hey Nigel, why are you a dick?’ and, ‘Hey Russell, what’s Katy Perry like in real life?’)
Russell: You talk about a revolution, but how is it actually going to work without chaos, mayhem and everyone going all Lord Of the Flies? Aren’t we in too deep?
Whatever you think about Russell – as a comedian, orator or political revolutionary – he does have a tendency to appear idealistic, and to talk in riddles about how he’d actually run the country if Westminster fell. As in, what would be different and how would he please everyone? There’s so much going on underneath the surface, that to completely extricate the entire system from all its international and national ties would be potentially totally devastating. When governments fall, martial law usually rules followed by civil war and loads of death and poverty and basic chaos. Which is pretty scary.
**Nigel: genuinely, why would you want to get rid of maternity pay? And sexual harassment laws? **
This question would mainly lose Nigel the female vote. Or at least, you’d hope it would, because if there are any women in the UK sitting about thinking not getting paid maternity leave, and not being able to do anything if your boss continuously attempts to put his hand up their skirts whenever they’re trying to make an important point in a meeting, then they need to take a good long look in the mirror. And stop kidding themselves.
**Russell: Is there a psychological reason you always touch people in interviews? **
Just wondering if he’s read any books about it.
**Nigel: Why are you so obsessed with looking like a normal dude when you’re not? **
Just wondering if he’s got a big list at home with things he has to do in order to look normal. How many has he crossed off? How many does he have yet to do? Eating a McFlurry in McDo… oh, wait you’ve already done that one.
Russell: How do you reconcile the fact that you’re not one of the people, with the fact that you’re trying to be the voice of the people?
One of the main criticisms of Russell is that hey, it’s alright for him to call for a revolution – he’s got money, hasn’t spent his whole life slaving away in a job that, if he loses, will mean his family starve. He has quite a nice, cushy little life (after the whole drug thing improved), which makes it difficult for people to empathise fully with him.
**Nigel: Please explain the reasons you think you’re not racist. **
This would be fascinating, because he is racist. It’s like trying to hear a kid explain why they didn’t eat the cake despite the fact they’re trying to stop the cake coming into the country, and would be concerned if the cake moved next door to them.
**Like this? You might also be interested in... **
Nigel Farage Doesn't Want Women To Like Him? That's Cool With Us
Follow Stevie on Twitter: @5tevieM
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.