Prince Charles has backed plans to keep numbers of grey squirrels to a minimum by hiding contraceptive-laced Nutella in trees.
Err, yes, in perhaps the weirdest sentence I’ve ever written (and will ever write), the Prince of Wales has fully supported plans to reduce the number of grey squirrels with a tendency to pro-create with chocolatey treats, to give the UK native reds a chance to get their numbers back up.
Grey squirrels were brought over here from the US in the 19th century and their impact on wildlife has drastically reduced the number of reds to just 140,000 (which, for scale, is 10,000 fewer than the number of people who watched Adele at last year's Glastonbury). It’s hoped that if the Nutella plan makes it on to the menu, the number of grey squirrels could reduce by 90% from 3.5 million to fewer than 300,000 in several years.
Grey squirrels carry a pox virus that is fatal for red squirrels, classing the greys as an 'invasive species'. They also have a pesky habit of ripping bark off trees which their auburn-colored friends are not big fans of either.
Nutella will be kept in boxes that are too heavy for red squirrels to open, so only the greys will get access to it. Charles is apparently into the government-proposed idea as hiding contraception in everyone’s favorite chocolatey, hazelnutty spread is a much better option idea than killing the poor grey guys. Previous tests have proved that the treat successfully attracts grey squirrels - so don't worry about any wastage.
The contraceptives would last several years, and the formula is currently being developed in York after Defra invested £39k into it. But scientists’ll need around £1million to get the plan off the ground (or out of the jar) as part of an estimated five-year programme.
Unlimited free Nutella and worry-free sex? Seems like a better option than most.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.