The 14 Types of Colleague At Every Office Christmas Party

The 14 Types of Colleague At Every Office Christmas Party


by Hayley Spencer |
Published on

Ah the office Christmas party - it comes but once a year, and is guaranteed to be chaos. Especially if the bar is free.

While most of us will go under the radar for our revelry, there’s a few characters that are guaranteed to be memorable for good, or for bad.

Here's a rundown of 14 types of colleagues we bet you'll see at your office bash - from the one noticeable by their absence, to the dark horse, to the not-so secret couple.

1. The gossip

They’ve got a head full of secrets that they’ve been hoarding all year and you can guarantee they’ll spill them after exactly 2.5 drinks. Stand by.

2. The letch

The more they drink the more their eyes will wander. ‘My face is up here’.

3. The one-outing a year parent

Since their little one came along they’ve got a curfew that they've been looking forward to breaking all year. This is their only night off in months, so they will enjoy this party like there’s no tomorrow.

4. The hawk

While chaos descends around them they’ll be making a mental note of every embarrassing moment to recount tomorrow. Try to stay out of sight if you intend to enjoy yourself no holds barred.

4. The corner-er

A few drinks down and they’ll be looking for someone to offload their work gripes to - so many work gripes. Do not let it be you if you want your party spirit undampened.

5. The dad dancer

This guy is just looking for a good time and while he might not have the best moves he’s happy to be the first on the dance floor and therefore quality entertainment.

6. The 'secret' couple

They act like they don’t know each other in office hours, but come the Christmas party and a few drinks down, they’ll undoubtedly pull and fail to separate until someone taps them on the shoulder to say everyone else has gone home.

7. The crier

Whether it’s happy tears or a flood over the fact that Mike from finance has pulled another girl, they’re going to get teary. If you’re not comforting them in a cubicle you’ll hear them from the sinks.

8. The one who'll profess their love

Given some Dutch courage they'll pull their crush aside and confess how they've had a crush since day one. Little do they know the recipient knows full well and has been trying to avoid them ever since.

9. The dark horse

In the office they’re quiet as a mouse - but the Christmas party is their time to shine.

10. The lightweight

If they’re not asleep in the corner by 10pm, they’ll need to be tucked into a taxi later on and have no memory of the night the morning after.

11. The karaoke hog

Party got a booth? Get ready for this colleague to crash and the karaoke machine and never let go of the mic. They may also tell you about the time they nearly made it onto the X Factor.

12. The one-night-only BFF

You’ll have the best night ever with this elusive colleague, but they’ll unceremoniously blank you as soon as you see them at the office. Until next year then…

13. The one who’s too cool to come

They’ll stay ‘for one’ but then they have a much more important engagement to attend with their real mates.

14. The one who throws a sickie

They’ve been planting the seeds all week of a sore throat, swollen glands etc. etc. and when it comes to the day of the party they’ve suddenly got a full-blown plague.

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