It must be an automatic weight off of parents' shoulders when a nanny builds a rapport with their children.
That has been the case for a single-parent Reddit user, until book-buying potentially jeopardised the rosy dynamic they had formed over the course of a year.
Using the community 'Am I The Asshole,' to disclose her dilemma, the user explained that their 12-year-old daughter Ruby - a big reader - had been regularly collecting old Star Trek books from thrift stores, which usually cost up to a couple of pounds. Tessa, the nanny, knew this and would often keep an eye out for books the tween was interested in, with Ruby paying her back out of her allowance.
However, an issue arose during a holiday Tessa went on. She had messaged Ruby asking if she wanted some books she had found and the youngster said yes.
When Tessa next saw Ruby, she arrived with 35 books in tow, which equated to $50 (£40.93). The Reddit user explained that they had told Tessa Ruby's allowance doesn't cover the cost.
They continued, 'Tessa then asked me if I would cover the cost. I said no as Tessa had never asked me about buying Ruby the books, nor was I aware of the conversation between the two of them. Tessa got upset and I asked Ruby to show me the text which made no mention of price, or even the amount of books she was buying.
'Tessa only said that she found "some" books for Ruby. Ruby is on the autism spectrum and does not read between the lines. You have to be very literal with her.'
Tessa - who the user revealed is a student - left upset, which prompted Ruby's parent to question whether they were in the wrong for not coughing up.
Admitting they were not expecting the post to 'blow up', the author revealed that while $50 will not 'make or break the bank', it was an 'unexpected expense'. They also added - for those who wondered how she was affording a nanny - that they do not pay for Tessa's services, as it is covered by an agency they work for.
The dilemma has left the Reddit community conflicted, but some strong opinions have emerged.
Disagreeing with their handling of the situation, one response read, 'Sometimes it’s better to salvage an important relationship than to be right.
'Pay for the books. Let Tessa know that you can’t do so in the future, though, without talking about it. Tell her how much you appreciate her thoughtfulness, now and always.'
Offering advice in relation to this, another suggested, 'This is the right answer. And then get your daughter a library card.'
Others sided with the torn parent, with one venting, 'I do not understand these comments in the slightest. What sort of nanny asks a twelve year old if they want something (of course they're going to say yes) and then asks them to fork out $50? What sort of nanny doesn't get parental approval first?
'That's so inappropriate and shows poor judgment and etiquette.'
'I think it’s extremely in poor taste to basically stick a bill on someone who never agreed to pay it,' a fourth voiced. 'Especially as a single [parent], I don’t think you’d be wrong to not pay her.'
What are your thoughts? Should parents pay back nannies for goods they have purchased for their children? Or refuse to dig into their pockets to cover the costs?