Parenting can be wonderful but it can also be stressful and overwhelming which, if left unmanaged for a prolonged period, can lead to emotional, mental and physical exhaustion.
You are particularly at risk of parental burnout if your child has additional needs or health problems, you have a history of mental health issues, you are dealing with domestic or financial difficulties or you are socially isolated with little emotional support.
The signs of parental burnout are...
Feeling tired all the time, an unshakable exhaustion.
This can be physical fatigue, or emotional exhaustion with feelings of failure and guilt.
Try a daily self-audit for two weeks, asking yourself two questions every morning: ‘How do I feel?’ and ‘What are my energy levels like?’ If there is a pattern, speak to someone you trust or phone your health visitor or GP before it gets worse.
Feeling inadequate in your role as a parent
Every parent experiences their own version of stress and what overwhelms one parent will differ to the next. You don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors so focus on your own reality. Mute or unfollow anything on social media that triggers feelings of inadequacy within you. Do not compare yourself to someone else’s highlight reel.
Loss of interest in activities or hobbies previously enjoyed
Parents can neglect their own needs and pleasures which, over time, zaps their sense of identity leading to isolation and feelings of hopelessness.
Prioritise what matters to you. Make time for physical activity, nourish yourself with healthy food and regularly tap into your breathing. Even just five minutes can boost self-worth.
Feeling emotionally detached from your children
Are you present but not really present? This must not be ignored as it can lead to feelings of resentment, apathy and even aggression towards your children. The first step is acknowledging that there is a problem and realising that you are not a bad parent, you just need some help right now and that is OK. Speak to someone you trust and contact your GP. There is a lot of support and resources. You are not alone.
If you are concerned about parental burnout, contact your GP, MIND on 0300-123-3393 or the Samaritans on 116 123.
Dr Punam Krishan is the co-host of The Medic Mum Podcast