No One Writes On Walls Any More. And Other Ways Your Facebooking Has Totally Changed Since They Introduced The Newsfeed

2006 was a bit of a landmark year, guys


by Stevie Martin |
Published on

It's been eight years since Facebook introduced the Newsfeed, causing way more of an outcry than, say, when they introduced the liking, totally bizarre privacy settings and Farmville. Since then, our Facebooking has undergone a complete revolution – from statuses to photos, we're not oversharing nearly as much as we used to. Far from being the brain dump that they once were, our Facebook profiles have become well-curated online avatars full of filtered photos, carefully selected YouTube clips and the odd serious link from a reputable news source to show how in touch we are with current affairs.

Here are five ways your Facebooking has changed since the introduction of that scrolling, flickering portal into whether Sally got married, Tim had a good time at a gig last night or whether The Metro covered that story about the woman having three boobs.

1. Nobody writes on each others' walls

Private messaging and Facebook Chat (which are now ostensibly both the same thing) is used to tell your mate you feel sick after eating a really big sandwich. Wallposts are for amusing links or YouTube videos you want the public to see – so they're a bit of a step up. Case in point? The scandal a couple of years ago when people became convinced that Facebook was publishing their private messages, until everyone realised they were never private in the first place – we just used to overshare in the extreme.

2. Your albums look different

Facebook albums are now no longer 280 blurred photos of one night out in a pub, but carefully curated Instagram-esque testaments to how we want our nights to be perceived. Want to see what someone's actually like? Check out their first three albums entitled 'Gettin Drunk,' 'Bored' and 'My New Fringe' to get the whole unfiltered, red-eyed, messy-haired picture.

READ MORE: Stranger Shaming: How Being A Woman Eating On A Tube Got Me 12,000 Online Haters

3. Your status isn't usually a status

If you want to talk about what you're up to, get on Twitter. Remember when you'd spend ages trying to grammatically and syntactically bend your sentences to including anything other than the present continuous? Stevie is: thinking about the sandwich she just ate that is making her sick. Stevie is: enjoying the memories from last night. Stevie is: anticipating another excellent night out before the creation of an album entitled 'Another Excellent Night Out'. I'll never forget the nigh-on orgasmic excitement we felt when Facebook removed the '[insert name] is.' Oh, the possibilities.

4. Notes. Oh God, notes

I recently discovered that my Notes from 2008 were still visible on my profile, and entitled things like '20 songs I can't live without (got this from Emma, so blame her)' whereby I launch into a painstakingly earnest breakdown of my top 20 tracks like a boring, self-involved Desert Island Discs that nobody wants to listen to. Another classic was called 'Firsting' where I finished sentences off such as 'The first time I ever kissed someone, it felt...' and 'The first time I ever got high was...', with the only comment at the bottom of the note being: 'Haha, I read this as fisting.' I'm glad we don't do Notes any more.

5. You can't Facebook stalk people you don't know anymore

Or rather, it's a lot harder and takes a faintly sinister amount of effort. You'd think this would have made us feel more free, but it seems to have had the opposite effect; possibly because we're now so horrified at the fact that we used to be able to trawl through every photo, status and wallpost of everyone linked up to the same university networks as us. I'll never forget a greasy-haired perv coming up to me in a club and saying '2006, you went to Portugal with your family' before quoting the album caption at me. Now it's just our cover photos that are public, along with other uninteresting information we can totally control. And that's how we like it (except for when we fancy someone and get the old Facebook Stalking urge at 3am).

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Follow Stevie on Twitter: @5tevieM

Picture: Ada Hamza

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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