**UPDATE: UKIP have rejected Nigel Farage's resignation so he remains leader of the party. And MEP in Europe for the south-east of the UK. Really. Oh, and George Galloway has mounted legal action against Naz Shah.
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While the Conservatives won a slightly marginal majority, there are a lot of people who’ve missed out in the election, including the leader of UKIP, Nigel Farage. Here are the losers and the quitters:
The Charming Nitwit
Nigel promised to resign if he didn’t win his hopeful seat of South Thanet in Kent. And he lost, to a Tory, by about 2000 votes. He’s now resigned as leader of the UKIP party. But he may very well be back in the Houses of Parliament. Lord Ashcroft, who presides over the polls – the very same polls which couldn’t predict the Tory win – has even suggested that Nigel gains power by becoming a Lord.
The Twitter Sensation
The former shadow chancellor lost his seat in Morley and Outwood to Andrea Jenkyns, a Conservative, by just 422 votes. He told the people at the count: ‘The personal disappointment I feel is nothing compared to the sense of sorrow I feel at the result that Labour has achieved in the UK.’ Many others are very worried they won't be able to celebrate Ed Balls day - the anniversary of the day when he thought he was searching himself on Twitter but instead just tweeted his own name: Ed Balls.
The Let-Downer Step-Downer
Nick Clegg kept his seat in Sheffield Hallam despite strong opposition, but stepped down as leader of Lib Dems after they suffered a loss of 48 seats. He said: ‘fear and grievance have won, liberalism has lost’.
The Animal Whisperer (From Cats To Lions And Hyenas)
George Galloway might have arrived at the count for Bradford West with a motorcade of cars and motorbikes around him (like he’s Obama or One Direction or something), but he lost to Naz Shah, the now-Labour MP with an extraordinary background of forced marriage, domestic abuse and rags-to-riches triumph. Galloway, who you’ll remember either from his time on Big Brother lapping milk from a saucer, or the blog he put out where he said that women couldn’t be raped by their husbands, wasn’t leaving without putting up a fight, though. This is his departing speech: ‘I don’t begrudge the Labour members here their moment of celebration of course’
‘But there will be others who are already celebrating: the venal, the vile, the racists and the Zionists will all be celebrating. The hyena can bounce on the lion’s grave but it can never be a lion and in any case, I’m not in my grave. As a matter of fact I’m going off now to plan the next campaign.’
The Tiny Dancer
Vince Cable – one of the Lib Dems’ biggest names –and a pretty good dancer that time on Strictly Come Dancing - lost out to Conservative Tania Mathias by just 2,017 votes.
The Woman Who Introduced Gay Marriage As, You Know, A Thing That Could And Should Happen
Lynne Featherstone isn’t just a supporter of women’s rights and gay rights, but has been an active proponent for change, speaking up about the importance of ending FGM and introducing gay marriage as an idea, before David Cameron took it as his own cause. Just like every other female Lib Dem (and there weren’t many), she lost. In this case, it was to Labour.
Good Old Ted
Ed Miliband has stepped down as leader of the Labour party, thanking the #Milifandom at the same time. As well as thanking all of the activists and the people who he met with, he said: ‘Thank you for the selfies, thank you for the support and thank you for the most unlikely cult of the 21st century – Milifandom’
The Woman Who Specifically Campaigned For Your Rights
While the Tories didnt' have a specific campaign to help women, Harriet Harman's woman to woman bus was widely laughed at because it was pink. Though Ed Miliband wants her to be the temporary leader of the party (she kept her seat) until the next leader steps up to the plate (this will be done via an in-party election), she says that, after that, she will resign as deputy leader of the Labour party.
The Woman Who Wanted To Make Your Life Easier
Jo Swinson was a massive campaigner for compulsory sex education and women’s rights. But that didn’t cut it with Scottish voters, who voted in the SNP instead, with a margin of little over 2,000.
The Lib Dems' Best Mathmetician
Danny Alexander was the Lib Dems’ finance bod, working as the chief secretary to the treasury, but will no longer be in the cabinet as, well, there’s no Coalition anymore, and he was beaten by the SNP by a whopping 10,809 votes. On the plus side, Harriet Harman has recently spoken of regret at saying that he was a ‘ginger rodent’
Like this? You might also be interested in:
The Lib Dems Are Out, UKIP Are Kind Of In And The Tories Are Way In
Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophwilkinson
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.