Rising house rents and the childcare-work juggle sent mother-of-two Annie, 42, into the red. With no support other than her parents, she had not choice but to ask her mum for help.
‘I consider myself a very independent and strong woman, so picking up the phone to my mum to ask if she could pay my rent on my two-bedroom flat in London last summer was a last resort. It was not a conversation I ever saw myself having with my mum. But I had no choice.
Thankfully she’s a generous and kind person who has always been there for me, but asking her felt like I was a failure. I’m 42, I shouldn’t still be relying on my parents to pay my rent.
Although my rent was just half of the problem. After struggling through the pandemic with my new start-up business and falling into rent arrears owing thousands of pounds, I was then served a section 21 notice of eviction two months ago.
I was so shocked when I received the letter, I could barely focus on the words. I’d been desperately trying to pay back what I owed - I even used my birthday money from my mum in August to pay rent.
I’ve lived in rented accommodation my whole adult life. Fourteen years ago, when I split with my ex-partner and father to our two girls - Bella, now 18, and Matilda, now 15 - he paid child support as he was in a much more financially stable career than me. It meant I was able to afford a three-bedroom maisonette with a garden for the three of us.
But life changed in 2017 when Bella decided that she wanted to go and live with her dad. I found it absolutely heartbreaking, because it had been the three of us for what seemed like forever. Once she left, my ex stopped the child support. I didn’t have it in me to challenge him in court, so I just decided to do it by myself.
This coincided with me losing my dad. Not only was I distraught with grief, I also lost him as a financial guarantor on the home we’d rented for 10 years. This meant we had to move into the smaller flat I’m now being evicted from.
Fortunately, I had money from my dad’s inheritance to help with the move. Because I had Bella when I was 23, I never really had a chance to build a career. I’d attempted to train as a midwife but had to abandon it as it took me away from the kids. Matilda was struggling with some behavioural issues and needed me home. So, I ended up taking a part-time job working in a pharmacy around the corner from the girls’ school. I was only earning enough to live on.
It was always a juggling act to make it through the month. Most of my earnings went on the £1,300-a-month rent. Throughout my time as a single mum, we’ve lived frugally. We barely ate meat for dinner because it was too expensive, let alone have savings. I’ve always put my girls before me, making sure they had clothes or swimming lessons. And I rarely went out unless it was a special occasion.
The pandemic caused problems for me as it put the brakes on my new business Tom’s Teas (add hyperlink please https://www.tomsteas.com/)), which was my primary job (although I wasn’t taking a salary). I’d just given up the pharmacy job before Covid hit. I was then home schooling my daughter Matilda, so wasn’t able to go job-hunting - not that there were many jobs around. Frustratingly, as well as not qualifying for furlough, the council stopped my £200 per month housing benefit after I went into arrears. Any paperwork to apply for grants take an age - which sent me even further into arrears.
When it comes to renting, I feel penalised because I’m a single parent (and female) and self-employed. To rent a two-bed flat in London on one salary, I worked out that you really need to earn about £39,000.a year. I don’t have one gross salary, as my income has often come from different pots like work, housing benefit, child and working tax credit. And, as soon as you mention housing benefit, landlords start hearing alarm bells.
I’ve had to ask my mum to be guarantor on our next flat, which she has agreed to. Asking for these favours from your parents when you’re 42 doesn’t help your relationship. I feel embarrassed, like I’m the problem child.
Needless to say this has had a huge impact on my wellbeing. I’ve been anxious and stressed. I’ve lost weight with worry. I’ve disconnected from friends because I haven't really wanted to explain myself. I'm also trying to protect Matilda, the best I can from our problems.
I was born and raised in London, but – like many people - I feel like I can't afford to live here anymore. Rent costs are insane and cutbacks to housing support are being made wherever possible. But I must stay here for the next year as my daughter is in Year 11, so I can’t move her to a different school now. Neither of us has any friends or family who live anywhere else, so we’d be starting from scratch.
My mum has given me around £30,000 over the last few years to help with both my rent and business. My plan is to pay her back as my business grows and I am in a better financial position. Going forward, she’s going to set up a standing order of £200 a month to help me, which is a real support I’m grateful for. I’ve also recently managed to get a job as a supermarket delivery driver to help bring some regular money in and payback my old landlord.
It’s not what I see myself doing long term. I’m only 42, I’ve still got a lot to offer and I’m determined to make a success of my business. Most of all, I don’t want to be counting down the days to the dreaded rent day any more it’s no way to live. I have a new plan and I’m hoping to soon be able to make a fresh start in a new flat with Matilda. Your home is so important to your wellbeing and security, I have to make this work.’