You’ve probably already had suspicions about how skipping off to university might have had something to do with your dwindling number of 'home friends'. The good news is that it’s not just you, we’ve all definitely felt that way. The bad news is, though, that moving away does have a dramatic effect on your friendship groups. And way more of a dramatic effect than we anticipated.
Research by Oxford University found that students lost 40 percent of their childhood friends every six months, reports the Telegraph. Yep, 40 percent. So, say there are ten of you in your circle of hometown besties. There’ll only be 6 of you left by the time you go back to your parent's house for the Easter break. Pretty drastic, isn't it?
The team behind the study followed a group of students through their first year of university and looked at what happened to their original set of friends. Evolutionary psychologist Professor Robin Dunbar said they noticed a ‘very striking sex difference’ when they compared the ways men and women operated within their friendship groups.
Speaking at the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) in Boston, Professor Dunbar said: ‘What determined with original friendships whether they survived with girls was whether they made effort to talk more to each other on the phone.’ Sounds pretty straight forward but let’s be honest with each other here, we’re all guilty of being notoriously crap with our phones when it comes to actually calling the people we’re meant to give a shit about.
Interestingly, though, they found that boys had to put more physical effort into keeping their friendships going. ‘Talking had absolutely no effect on boys’ relationships at all,’ professor Dunbar said, ‘What held up their friendships was doing stuff together. Going to a football match, going to the pub for a drink, playing five a side. They had to make the effort’.
This is all to do with the fact that women typically have more intense close friendships which, again, you probably already knew anyway. ‘They’re very intense, very like romantic relationships – in the sense if they break they break catastrophically’, Dunbar said. Hands up who’s ever been more devastated by a friendship break up than a relationship break up? Me too.
I guess this just confirms all of our existing thoughts about female friendships: they’re really, really important to us. Moving on to a new stage of life, be it university, a new town, new job or whatever, will always trigger a slight change in dynamic. That's kind of just how it goes when you suddenly don't see the same people every day anymore. But if you're feeling pretty rubbish about the distance between you and 40 per cent of your mates back home, it might just be time to give Instagram a break and actually dial a few of numbers. You know, to call people? And like, speak to them with your actual voice? Apparently, it makes a difference.
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Follow Jazmin on Twitter @JazKopotsha
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.