There are some basic things you need to live: water, oxygen, food, sleep. But you definitely don’t need to raise a child in order to get through life. Yet viral Tweets are claiming that those born between 1981-1996 will malfunction if they’re not parents by the end of their thirties.
‘Millennials who are very cavalier about not having children are in for a shock when they enter their 40s & realize life is only half over,’ it read. ‘What do you do at that point? Keep trying to be sexy & have fun? I expect to see a lot of sadness & confusion about what to do at that point.’
This opinion, that children are needed to satiate the sadness of adults, now troublingly has over 27,000 likes of support. ‘Without the natural connections and belonging that literally emerge from marriage and fertility, the latter years become very cold and lonely. Those "Friendsgivings" will get old, quickly,’ the user doubled down.
But let’s get real, ‘be sexy and have fun’ isn’t exactly a bad life plan and this frivolity is very much the goal of the moment. This summer, Gen Z users have regularly complained about 90s babies ‘taking up space in the club’ while Gen Z are trying to dance. Yet, despite the backlash, millennials won’t leave the party.
The assumption that a happy and fulfilled life can only be achieved through procreation isn’t just problematic, it’s also (scientifically) utter bollocks. According to data collected by a professor at the London School of Economics: ‘The healthiest and happiest population subgroup are women who never married or had children.’
Think of Samantha Jones throwing her ‘I don’t have a baby shower’ to let everyone know she was still fabulous in season six of Sex And The City. Think of Ilana Glazer in Broad City: ‘Marriage?...I’m only 27. What am I a child bride?’ Opting out of settling down is no longer a maverick thing to do. And from the TV we watch to the group chat messages we send — we’d rather toast our freedom than an impending bundle of alleged joy.
Having a child purely to entertain yourself is irresponsible. And, as pointed out by retaliating Twitter users, there are plenty of other ways to make yourself happy. ‘[I’ll] spend any spare income on stupid shit for myself,’ one woman said. ‘Like, everyone will want to come to my house for the mini petting zoo in the garden.
‘Oh poor Mollie, lives alone with no kids” sorry I can’t hear you I’m drinking an espresso martini and riding the miniature railway through my own personal forest,’ she continued. ‘“But mollie, aren’t you worried about dying alone???” maybe but my vaginal canal will at least be intact.’
Truly, there are endless reasons millennials aren’t having children: the soaring cost of living, the fact the planet is on fire, the niggling concern that childcare costs more than you'd get for selling your kidney. But if the only reason is that we want to be hot and party—that is fine too. We will fill our days with things other than nappies and first steps. Hobbies, holidays, and other hot people... for example.
‘I am 45, no debts, no housing costs, working part-time, learning to play the harp, volunteering at the community centre, trying to increase my best running speed, smashing cooking delicious food from scratch, and loving life, friends and family,' one woman responded on Twitter. 'I’m supposed to be unhappy?’ No, you’re absolutely not.