Maybe you've reached your limit of working, schooling and everything else from home with children, or perhaps you live alone and are anxiously awaiting to see what the next set of lockdown rules will mean for you. Or maybe you're a frontline key worker who's day-to-day job has involved unimaginable stresses over the last seven months. Either way, it's no surprise that as a nation our mental health is buckling under the strain of the Coronavirus pandemic.
In May we published the results of our Life After Lockdown survey, compiled with Instagram as part of our Where’s Your Head At? campaign. Of the 3,000-plus people Grazia spoke to, almost half (47%) said lockdown has had a negative impact on their mental health – with 75% saying they want help and advice for anxiety, depression and loneliness. Some 49% have found being isolated and feeling lonely challenging during this time.
Five months later, we're still dealing with the same issues, and with World Mental Health Day here, as part of our Where's Your Head At Campaign, we've launched a map of kindness, inviting people across the UK to commit to and share their acts of kindness. We'd love it if you could share yours!
And in the meantime, here's our Mental Health Toolkit for 2020. It won't solve everything, but it might give you what you need next time it all feels too much.
How to deal with a bad day
BY DR ROSENA ALLIN-KHAN, LABOUR MP FOR TOOTING AND A&E DOCTOR
Accept when you’re having a down day – and that tomorrow is a new day
For everyone working on the frontline, myself included, this has been a scenario that no one had prepared for, and not being able to hold someone’s hands while delivering devastating news, or holding someone while they grieve, is alien to us. Go easy on yourself – it’s OK to not feel OK.
Give yourself something to look forward to Plan a staycation or reach out to friends and family to plan a virtual date.
Exercise, exercise, exercise
Whether a walk, light jog or a boxing session – exercise does wonders for the mind.
Treat yourself to making a nice meal or ordering a takeaway.
Spray some perfume – even if you’re just working from home.
Remember, things feel difficult now, but they will get better.
If you need more support...
The Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123.
How to cope when it all gets too much with the kids
BY ANNA MATHUR, PSYCHOTHERAPIST AND AUTHOR OF ‘MIND OVER MOTHER’ (£9.99, PIATKUS)
1. Take a breather
When your child pushes all the buttons, it’s normal to feel an internal storm, the thundercloud that happens when stress and responsibility collide. This is your fight-or-flight response, triggered at times of stress, but neither fighting nor fleeing is an appropriate option. Instead, make sure your child is safe and secure and then step outside the room, somewhere you can still keep an eye on them. Breathe deeply into your stomach for the count of four, and then sigh the breath out fully through your mouth for the count of six. Do this until you feel your heart rate slow and your shoulders drop (six to 10 times).
2. Redefine self-care
I had this lightbulb moment recently where I recognised I’d been framing acts such as ‘a shower, a pee alone, a walk outside’ as ‘self-care’. I doubt my husband sees his daily shower as an act of indulgence. These are not acts of self- care, these are acts of self-respect! Self-care is going that bit further. It’s not the gulped down cuppa, but the coffee catching up with a friend. If your self-esteem has hit an ebb, it may be because you have been giving yourself the message that you are not deserving of prioritising acts of self-respect, and that everything else is a guilt-ridden indulgence. Find small ways to offer yourself more than just the bare minimum.
3. Realise you’re not good enough
This sounds a little controversial but are you really enough as one individual, with limited resources, energy and time, to fulfil all the roles to the standard you want to? We were never meant to juggle so much. If you live to the very edge of your capacity, a bump in life’s road will find you empty. You need energy to laugh, to rationalise anxious thoughts, to invest in the relationships that make your heart soar. You deserve more than to live out of a place of burnout.
‘Our Aim Is To Destigmatise Black Mental Health’
BY AGNES MWAKATUMA, CO-FOUNDER OF BLACK MINDS MATTER UK
witnessing the effect the pandemic was having on Black people’s mental health, along with the Black Lives Matter movement, made me realise a crisis was looming. Which is why I, together with my friend Annie Nash, launched Black Minds Matter UK on 1 June, one week after George Floyd’s killing. Our aim was to enable as many Black people as possible to get specialised mental health support. We understand that the NHS is in crisis and therapy is not always readily available. Our aim is to link Black individuals and families with certified Black practitioners by providing free 12-week courses of therapy.
We were taken aback by the amazing response we had. Within 24 hours, we’d hit the fund’s original target of £50,000; within a month, we’d raised £500,000, which will fund 12 weeks of therapy for 720 people.
One of our original aims was to normalise therapy in the Black community and break the stigma. We also wanted to encourage more funding into research around Black mental health, since to improve the effectiveness of mental health treatments for Black people, we need evidence-backed information and analysis.
Our journey has been emotional and inspiring. Right now we have 2,600 people on our waiting list, so there is a clear need for a service like this. We hope to support the Black community for as long as our help is needed. We’ve proved that change is possible when we all come together. blackmindsmatteruk.com
Foods to boost your mental health
BY RACHEL KELLY, AUTHOR OF ‘THE HAPPY KITCHEN’ (£14.99, SHORT BOOKS)
I have had a long history of depression but had never considered the link between my mood and food until a GP gave me a list of three ‘happy foods’ to try along with my prescription. It included dark chocolate (high in magnesium, which helps with anxiety); oily fish (high in healthy fats, the omega 3s); and dark green leafy vegetables (good for gut health).
I was stunned that a GP could suggest this – but adjusting my diet has had a life-changing effect on my mental health. Nutritional psychiatry has proved that there are links between the brain and the stomach – if your gut feels nice and calm then your brain will, too. To beat the blues, you need to ensure you have enough protein – full of amino acids, which support our brain – with most meals, and avoid a sugary diet that can send your mood soaring or crashing.
Start the day with a glass of hot water, lemon and ginger. People who are anxious are often at their most jittery first thing, daunted by the day ahead. Not only does this drink stimulate your appetite, the regularity of a routine also helps reset your brain. Try baked eggs with sweet potato or salmon and flaxseed pancakes for breakfast.
For the rest of the day, concentrate on foods that are full of protein as well as vitamin D, vitamin B (for the nervous system) and zinc (low levels have been linked to anxiety). And avoid CRAP: C for carbonated drinks, R for refined sugars, A for aspartame and additives, and P for processed foods. Your gut, and mood, will thank you for that.
How Do I Start Therapy?
BY STEPHEN BUCKLEY, HEAD OF INFORMATION AT MENTAL HEALTH CHARITY MIND
How can therapy help?
Timely and appropriate treatment can make all the difference. Medication is just one option, but we should all be able to access a range of treatments for our mental health.
Isn’t it hard to access?
Over the past decade, the Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) programme has enabled thousands more people to receive talking treatments via the NHS. You can often refer yourself without going through your GP. Use the IAPT service finder on the NHS website. The range of therapies is still limited, and waiting times vary.
What other options are there for anyone seeking free therapy? Some community and charity sector organisations may offer free or low-cost talking therapies. Some local Minds, for example, are offering remote counselling during the coronavirus outbreak. Call 0300 123 3393 to see available services.
What if I choose to go private?
You need to find a therapist who is registered with a professional body, eg, the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy; the British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies; or the British Psychological Society. Find out how much they charge, if they offer reduced rates for those on low incomes, and if they offer a free introductory session to see if they are a good fit.
How can I get the most out of it?
Ask yourself, am I ready to explore my feelings and behaviour? Am I able to open up about things that are very personal or hard to talk about? Is there anything I need to get help with first, such as money issues? Decide what you want to achieve and discuss this with your therapist. Also, do some research to understand what to expect from the type of therapy you’re getting.
We want to generate 10,000 acts of kindness by 10th October, join us, and check out our map of kindness at wheresyourheadat.org.