These Horror Stories Will Put You Off Ever Telling A Porky On Your CV

Reason #9238383 not to lie on your CV, it's just not worth it peeps

These Horror Stories Will Put You Off Ever Telling A Porky On Your CV

by Emma Gannon |
Published on

According to the clever people from the Risk Advisory Group, the lies people are telling on CVs are increasing. The group looked at more than 3,000 CVs – and found 63% contained some ‘discrepancies’, which is a rise of more than 15% compared to 10 years ago. Basically, people are beginning to bullshit left right and centre and it’s naughty.

Even from a few conversations floating around The Debrief office, we’ve heard our fair share of horror stories. So here’s a list of stuff you probably don’t want to lie about on your CV:

Being ‘fluent’ in a foreign language

This is a no-brainer. If you can’t speak Japanese, don’t try and blag it. My friend (yes, it was actually a friend) lied about being totally fluent in French, when in reality she could only speak ‘un peu’. She got the job, and the next thing she knew, her boss had put her on a conference call with her new client from the Paris office called Pierre, who was a bit confused when all she could say was she going swimming in the ‘piscine’ after work.

Going to a university you didn’t go to

If you went to a university that you thought might be slightly unimpressive, don’t lie about going to another one. Laura, 22, tells us: ‘One mate of mine lied that she went to Cambridge to read Philosophy when she didn’t, and then she got busted by adding her boss on Facebook, who saw her photo albums, in a different city, with her university name emblazoned across her sports hoodies.’ #Awks.

Inventing a blog/website that you don’t have

Our lovely culture editor Jess admitted to once applying for a job YEARS ago and when asked, ‘Do you have a blog?’ she blurted out ‘Yes, but I can’t remember the name of it right now.’

**Faking a driving license **

‘Yeah, I can drive!’ might not the best thing to lie about. Jenny, 22, said she told her new boss she was great at driving and then once offered the job, had six weeks to learn to drive and pass her test. Oh God.

Your name

I mean, this should be obvious. Sophie, 31, said she once lied about her name because she wanted it to sound more glamorous. ‘Yeah, I said my name was Scarlett because I thought it would sound cooler and more mysterious. Then when HR asked to see my passport I got myself into a web of lies about my name/nickname/birthname. It was exhausting.’

**Pretending your previous role was different to your actual one **

It makes sense not to lie about being a senior analyst if you were the intern, let’s be real here. According to Tom, 27, his biggest mistake was elevating his previous role to CEO level ‘hoping they wouldn’t check’. So when he said he’d ‘founded the company’ (he’d been a lowly middle manager), Google quickly showed up the truth. Woopsies.

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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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