You might have seen trending on twitter that last week, the government made ammendments to our laws which effectively banned a series of acts in porn including; spanking, caning, whipping, face-sitting and oddly enough, female ejaculation but not male ejaculation - that's totally fine. A load of people were angered by the government's attempt to censor sexual acts between consenting adults - one of these people was sex-worker and activist Charlie Rose, who created a Facebook group last week to arrange a #PornProtest or mass 'face-sit' in front of Parliament today.
We first thought let’s do something comical that will make history
I spoke to Charlie yesterday to find out what she hoped to achieve from the protest; ‘We first thought let’s do something comical that will make history – let’s sit on the faces of the MP’s but then myself and a friend thought of a mass face-sit to make history. Face-sitting and female ejaculation is great! They're two of my favourite things to do! We need to show Parliament we won't be silenced and we've got lots planned including a performance from the Sex Worker Opera and a sex-style X Factor game. I initially invited 300 people but it’s gone viral.’
Charlie also hoped to break the Guinness World Record for the largest face sit-in, but it remains to be seen if it will be accepted by officials. When I joined the Facebook protest group yesterday 7000 people were invited but just under 1000 had clicked attending.So we decided to head out in the drizzle, and see what was going down. Check out our LIVE Twitter feed to see what's happened:
The porn protests today were fun, flamboyant and ridiculous but that's exactly what's to be expected from an event with women holding placards that read 'fight for your right to fist' and men dressed in Christmas-inspired lyrca bodysuits as 'Santa's Squirters', all before lunch; it was never going to be a subdued affair.
When I arrived just before midday, it looked like a bit of a flop. The number of reporters far outweighed the protestors, and apart from a select few dressed in bondage gear, it didn't look like a lot was about to happen. How very wrong I was.
After a bit of milling around and playing 'hipster or journo?' in my head, some random things began to happen around 1pm which caused anyone with a camera to flock to the spot where the weird shit was happening. We saw the first face-sit of the day, which took place on a tartan blanket with a male-female couple in tweed, next to a tupperware box of cheese sandwiches - it was like a debauched version of Countryfile, Countryfile gone kinky -and it was brilliant. Then chief organiser Charlie Rose made a speech facing the Houses of Parliament -she was interrupted by an adult performer who flashed her breasts and shouted 'freeeedom!' and everyone seemed to love it. 'If I'm whipping you with a smile on my face am I aggressive?' Charlie asked the crowd, in reference to the legislation which has banned whipping on film, grinning as spanked herself with an imaginary whip/cane/crop made of air. 'Unite with me here and now! Parliament can try and ban our liberties but you can never take our sexual freedom! We'd also like to try and create the world record [for face sitting] but unfortunately the Guinness Book of World Records did not deem it suitable for the family book.'
One man came prepared and wore a scuba diving mask before lying down, and there was a group sing-a-long of Monty Python's 'Sit On My Face'
Despite this, the protestors enacted face-sitting en masse before Parliament anyway. Who cares if no records were broken? It certainly made history in our minds. Men who didn't seem to be part of the demo lay down in a long line eager to have a woman squat on their chin, alongside those in fetish clothing and other protestors. Women sat on women, men sat on men; it was an inclusionary affair. Charlie was losing her voice and let a friend bark out instructions as reporters clamoured around the face-sit-group and things got chaotic (two guys nearly had a fight). 'GETTT BAAAAACK' Charlie's friend shouted, and I kind of wished someone would shout 'OR I'LL SHOOT YOU ALL LIKE DOGS' from that scene in Titanic. The face-sit was a bit of an anti-climax (ha) because once everyone's in position nothing actually happens, you just sort of sit there and smile awkwardly. One man came prepared and wore a scuba diving mask before lying down, and there was a group sing-a-long of Monty Python's 'Sit On My Face' ("everything will be fine if we just sixty-nine")I also got to hear strangers asked if they 'wanted to have their face sat on?' several times by Charlie's loud friend and that was truly unforgettable.
The porn protest was a sexual pantomime and random people would suddenly burst into character, shouting things like 'we love fisting!' whilst thrusting into each other, or women stripping off to their underwear to start spanking each other. I overheard one BBC reporter saying 'what's most disturbing is that when she stripped off her bottom was quite brusied' - er I think that's the general idea mate.
Despite the tongue in cheek feel of the afternoon, some male photographers attempted to direct the women taking part in the protest as if it was a porn shoot; 'put your finger in your mouth, lets make it a bit saucy' one guy told a female face-sitter in a purple wig as she straddled a guy in her pants. Luckily she told him where to go, but it demonstrated the problem that Charlie Rose and her gay, trans, bi and straight friends were all protesting against. Herto-normativity (that aligns men and women with what is traditionally masculine and female) dominates all aspects of our media but it is essentially outdated bullshit. No-one should be made to feel that their sexual preferences aren't acceptable or normal, and the female exploration of sexual pleasure needs to be made legal in all aspects of UK film - just as the male version is. To a bystander, the porn protestors might seem pointless and even debauched, but if Charlie Rose doesn't stand up for sexual censorship then who will? We need a female money shot, after all.
Liked this? You might also be interested in:
**Join in the feed by tweeting #YesToSquirting on @TheDebrief
**
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.