Big shout out to Mum. The closer we get to having kids of our own (not too close mind) the more we realise that putting up with us for 18 years (and then some, it is the recession you know) probably wasn't the easiest of jobs. Especially impressive? All those times they turned a blind eye when you thought you were being dead sneaky. Staying over at 'friends', sneaking out of the house? Yeah, they knew what was really going on.
Here's the lies we told our mums. Sorry Mum.
'Those fags belong to Sarah'
Weird how Sarah wasn’t allowed over after that but the cigarette butts kept appearing under your bedroom window.
'But I NEED money to get a new dress for a terribly important school thing that's to do with further education'
Spoken like the teenage girl who’s spent her weight in gold on blue WKD’s
.
Cut to five years down the line: 'I’m FINE, I’ve got loads of money. Don’t you guys worry about me.'
Independent womaning; a likely story. The 'anonymous' £50 that shows up in your bank later that day is actually very welcome. Thanks Mum.
'I’ve only had two beers'
Before being sick all over the DJ and crying into Aunty Muriel’s dress. Shame your cousin whose wedding it was didn’t see the funny side.
'But my teacher's lying'
Sure. So was the dentist who said you needed braces. And your friend's mum who said you were a bad influence.
'It’s flavoured tobacco'
Nice try. But there’s the odd chance mum might have taken a drag on the old peace pipe at some point in her youth.
'I found it like that'
See also: 'my brother did it', 'it was probably robbers', and 'maybe it was you and you forgot?'
'I will never get in a car with a 6th form boy'
Unless those boys had fast cars and looked like Freddie Prinze Junior.
Follow Jess on Twitter @jess_commons
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.