You know how it is: the buildup goes on for months, the preparation is planned with acute precision, an eye-watering amount of money gets spent, and then on the big day, you realise that your entire family is bonkers and find yourself wishing you could slide slowly under the table. Or going to the loo when you don't need the loo just to have some alone time ad not have to answer questions about why you're fat, why you're OK being fat and why - if you're fat and OK with it - you're not pregnant yet? Before Grandma says something astoundingly racist and everyone pretends to be incredibly interested in their own peas.
Never experience that arse-clenching silence after a member of your family announces that they don't love their husband, who is sitting next to them, again. Whether you're drunk, and fancy heating up the situation to see how far you can push it - or feeling diplomatic, and wishing to keep the peace so you can all get through one Christmas without someone crying in the understairs cupboard, here are some excellent ways to respond to all things I Can't Believe You Just Said That.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.