In the latest bonkers, things-conservatives-do-to-try-and-stop-kids-from-having-fun news, an Indian extremist group has claimed that they’re going to round up and forcibly marry anyone caught saying ‘I love you’ on social media during Valentine's week.
The nationalist group Hindu Mahasabha are stern in their beliefs: ‘Displays of love in the entire Valentine’s week is equivalent to not following Indian traditions. Anyone found displaying love on Facebook, Twitter or WhatsApp will be caught hold of,’ said the group’s president Chandra Prakash Kaushik, a man who’s clearly never experienced the subtle beauty of the cinematic works of Nicholas Sparks.
Apparently, eight (EIGHT) social media teams are hanging out in New Delhi ready to scour peoples’ feeds and pounce on any unsuspecting young people who dare to say the ‘L’ word.
And how do Hindu Mahasabha plan to force people to get married? Apparently, they’re going to contact offenders and ask them to share their phone numbers and addresses with them, so they can begin to plan the forced wedding. If that doesn’t work (obviously), they’re going to contact their parents, because playing tattle tale is a really great way to get yourself taken seriously politically.
The New Delhi police isn’t hugely bothered though, saying that forcing couples to marry is absolutely not a thing and anyone trying to do it will face legal action.
Twitter users are similarly unimpressed...
Shout out to that last tweet for putting Ranveer Singh on our radar. This chap is absolutely something we can get on board with this Valentine’s Day.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.