In a world of inspirational memes and #girlpost Instagram posts, it’s easy to forget that we all get stuck at work, or feel like we can’t find a way forward at times. Sue Unerman is the Chief Transformation Officer at MediaCom and Kathryn Jacob OBE is the Chief Executive at Pearl and Dean. Together they wrote The Glass Wall: Success Strategies For Women At Work And Businesses That Mean Business. Each week answer your work questions with pragmatic, honest advice that’s proven to work…
I’m struggling with my work and life balance. I’m told by my boss to grab every networking opportunity, and because I don’t have kids to go home to I’m feeling the pressure to do the extra hours. I get the impression that if I had a family, the expectation on me would be different, but how do I make my boss understand that I still want to have a life outside of work?
Sue: First of all are you an introvert or an extrovert? There’s a good theory that natural introverts are very capable of networking but find it absolutely exhausting, whereas natural extroverts get energised by a couple of hours “working the room” with a glass of chardonnay in their hand. If you are in the former category, you may need to take some advice which we quote in our book “The Glass Wall, success strategies for women at work and businesses that mean business” from Susan Cain. She suggests forging a “free traits” agreement with yourself, where you promise yourself that as soon as you have met two people that you don’t know at any event you may go home and sit quietly for a bit to recover.
Kathryn: As an extrovert I love meeting new people however even I can find networking intimidating. Being told to network is a very broad instruction. Who should you network with? How do you evaluate the contribution it will make to your work? Networking for the sake of networking is pointless. You have to have a purpose otherwise you’re using up your free time for nothing other than the accumulation of a set of random Linkedin contacts or business cards. So, I think, you need to explore with your boss how best to target your time so that you feel that you get something out of it as well as benefitting your work. At the same time use this discussion to explain to your boss how some of your out of work commitments are the equivalent of other people’s family time. Elderly parents, caring duties, time with a partner and friends or a life goal to climb Everest all come into this.
Sue: Yes, we until recently had a woman in our team who was a committed Iron Man/Woman competitor. It was massively important to her to have training time and also a limit to nights out in order to be able to participate in something she loves. By discussing this with her manager, we were able to create a flexible schedule that meant she could happily blend work and life. To consider her happiness in competing as in some way less important than family ties would have made her miserable and a miserable colleague isn’t good for the team or for the business.
Kathryn: An inclusive culture recognises all sorts of personal requirements. Its key to having a dynamic and diverse workforce. Not everyone should be treated the same, because after all we are all different. There is a big gap between equality and equity. Equity is creating an even playing field that allows everyone to excel. Often, I’ve come across working mums who are made to feel very guilty because some of the heavy lifting is done by others, that they’re being selfish. In reality, their contribution is crucial, and cultures that emphasise presenteeism are unhealthy.
Sue: Clearly however if you never network, if you only do your day job and leave it at that, it would be unrealistic to tell you that this is going to get you on the fast track. At more junior levels this might be sufficient but by the time you’ve been working for say 7 or 8 years everyone automatically expects competence from you and your peers. (Anyone incompetent by this point has been found out and is out usually). So, to stand out from your peers you have to find a way to develop your personal brand. Some people will excel at doing this by networking, by getting to know a wide range of people outside of their own company, and by using these contacts to get them further. It is not the only way to stand out however. You don’t have to be out 7 nights a week. On the other hand once a year is definitely not enough. Find your balance. Consider what you want to be known for and double down on that.
Kathryn: If networking isn’t for you, you could become known for being the person with the best insight into changes and developments in your market. You could then run a “virtual network” by creating a community of people with similar interests in other businesses or potential customers and clients.
Sue: Another question to ask is how ambitious are you? How much are you in a race for the next promotion? If you’re in a big hurry, then you will need to put more time into standing out in one way or another. If you’re not, then it is ok to take your foot off the accelerator, not everyone will (or wants to) become the next CEO and there are many ways to have a fantastically fulfilling career without driving yourself into the ground. Your personal well-being has to be your first priority. If you are doing too many evenings out, not getting enough sleep or exercise, being in work at the crack of dawn and not looking after yourself then you’re putting your longterm health at risk. If I know one thing it is that this is not worth it.
Kathryn: On the other hand if you can love it throw yourself into it and good luck
Sue and Kathryn’s book The Glass Wall, Success Strategies For Women At Work And Businesses That Mean Business is available from Amazon.
Have you got a question you’d like Sue and Kathryn to answer? Email your questions to feedback@graziamagazine.co.uk. Please note, we will be unable to respond to every single question we receive, and will not be able to respond to any questions personally