In your mid-twenties and beyond, the sound of summer isn’t an acoustic covers album or whichever ubiquitous Ed Sheeran track is doing the rounds: it’s the inevitable electronic chimes of a Facebook notification or Whatsapp alert, as you realise you’ve been added to yet another hen do group chat. And with every ‘Hey ladies!’ message thread comes the sinking realization that you’re only a few pleasantries away from being asked to part with a couple of hundred pounds for a long weekend of the sort of ‘activities’ you’d steer well clear of in your everyday life (here's a genuine question: does anyone actually enjoy cupcake decoration as a group activity?). In fact, that might even be a conservative estimate: a new study has suggested that attending a hen or stag do abroad could set you back almost £1,000.
The poll of 2,000 UK adults, commissioned by Hotels.com, found that the average pre-wedding festivities cost attendees £998. While that figure might initially seem a little on the extravagant side, expenses soon add up: the survey estimated that £125 goes on accommodation, £136 on flights, £78 for taxis and £64 for trains. Food and drink for the trip typically costs £101 and £119 respectively, with £67 budgeted for extras like fancy dress. It’s not hard to see why 80 percent of the survey group described the inflated costs of overseas hen celebrations as ‘staggering.’
It’s this financial drain that makes many women feel so conflicted about hen dos. On one hand, an invitation is the sign of the strength of your friendship – and it’s an excuse to have a good time with what’s hopefully a group of your closest pals (or at least, someone else’s closest pals). But at the same time, the high costs coupled with a sense of social obligation (only 29 percent of those surveyed by Hotels.com stated that they turned down an invite due to the cost) can cause problems.
'It’s all very exciting when you get invited on a hen do abroad, but as it gets closer to departure, you start to realise just how much this very short trip is actually costing,’ says Toni, 27. ‘Buying all the hen do gear, from fancy dress to colour co-ordinated bikinis to the ‘Team Bride’ merch, really adds up, then there’s flights, accommodation and the usual holiday expenses – nails, hair, waxing, taxis. And you haven’t thought about what you’ll wear to the actual wedding yet!’
Even celebrations closer to home can still prove costly. The research found that the average UK stag or hen costs £464 in total. ‘When I was invited to a friend’s hen do this summer, I was genuinely relieved to see that the bridesmaids weren’t planning something abroad,’ says Marie, 26. 'But in the end, I think I probably spent more money than I’d usually allocate for, say, a European city break, just on travel, a pricy Airbnb rental and ‘food costs’ that were never really broken down for us. I ended up having a good time, but there was still the lurking feeling that I’d have to sacrifice another trip further down the line to balance this out.’ Indeed, one third of those surveyed said that they’d had to make cutbacks elsewhere in order to attend, sacrificing holidays, clothes and other social events.
Hen dos should be a celebration, not a source of financial stress and anxiety. Perhaps it’s time to recalibrate our expectations and rein in the spending a little.
Look back at royal wedding dresses throughout history in the gallery below...
Royal wedding dresses through history - Grazia
1 of 18Queen Victoria, 1840
Queen Victoria is one of just two British Queens to have married while reigning (the other is Queen Mary). For her wedding to Prince Albert at St James' Palace, the young Queen chose a simple off-the-shoulder style in white satin, with a flounce of Honiton lace at the neckline. Instead of a coronet, she wore a simple orange blossom garland.
2 of 18Victoria, Princess Royal, 1858
Princess Victoria, daughter of Queen Victoria, wed Prince Frederick William of Prussia, in January 1858 wearing a rich white moire antique decorated with three flounces of Honiton lace designed to resemble bouquets of rose, shamrock and thistle in three medallions. Each flounce of the dress had a wreath of orange and myrtle blossoms, which were the bridal flower of Germany.
3 of 18Princess Beatrice, 1885
For her wedding to Prince Henry of Battenberg in 1885, Princess Beatrice, the youngest daughter of Queen Victoria, wore a fashionable white satin dress, trimmed with lace (which the Princess is said to have loved) and orange blossom. She was the only of Victoria's daughters to wear her mother's veil down the aisle, too.
4 of 18Princess Mary of Teck, Queen consort, 1893
The future Queen Mary's wedding dress was designed by Arthur Silver of the Silver Studio, whose designs epitomised the Art Nouveau look. Her classic gown was embroidered with roses, shamrocks and thistles, with the choice of orange blossom for the trim echoed in small wreaths adorning her neckline and her hair. Her 'something old' was a small piece of Honiton lace from her mother's own wedding gown, with diamond jewellery from future mother-in-law Queen Victoria ticking off 'something borrowed.'
5 of 18Lady Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon, the Queen Mother, 1923
The future Queen Mother's wedding dress was quintessentially 1920s in style, with a simple drop waist. Designed by Madame Handley-Seymour, the dressmaker to Queen Mary, it was made of ivory silk crepe and embroidered with pearls. Her Flanders lace veil was held in place by a wreath of orange blossom and white roses, the latter a nod to the her future title of Duchess of York.
6 of 18Queen Elizabeth II, 1947
Court couturier Norman Hartnell described the wedding gown of the then-Princess Elizabeth as 'the most beautiful dress I had so far made.' Patterned with stars and floral embellishments, the dress – and its 13 foot train – was said to be inspired by Botticelli's Primavera, and to symbolise the nation's rebirth following the war. As clothing rationing was still in place (even for a Princess), Elizabeth had to purchase the fabric with ration coupons (though she was inundated with coupons from young women across the country, she had to return them to their owners).
7 of 18Princess Margaret, 1960
When Princess Margaret married photographer Anthony Armstrong-Jones, she opted for a design by royal couturier Norman Hartnell. Comprising 30 metres of silk organza, the dress's simple shape and clean lines were designed to flatter the Princess's petite frame.
8 of 18Princess Anne, 1973
Ahead of her marriage to Captain Mark Phillips, Princess Anne seemed to take sartorial inspiration from times past, specifically the court of Queen Elizabeth I: her wedding gown, designed by Maureen Baker for Susan Small, featured a Tudor-style high neck and sweeping, almost medieval sleeves.
9 of 18Diana, Princess of Wales, 1981
Lady Diana Spencer's now-iconic 1981 wedding dress set bridal trends for years to come, with its puffed sleeves, 25-foot train and full skirt. Designed by David and Elizabeth Emanuel, the ivory silk taffeta gown was embellished with tiny sequins and pearls in a heart motif.
10 of 18Sarah, Duchess of York, 1986
Lindka Cierach designed this quintessentially '80s wedding dress for Sarah Ferguson's wedding to Prince Andrew. Made from ivory duchesse satin, it boasted a 17 foot long train embroidered with bees and thistles (a nod to her family's crest) and anchors and waves (symbolizing Prince Andrew's naval career). The York Diamond tiara which Fergie wore on the day was commissioned especially for her by her mother-in-law, the Queen.
11 of 18Sophie, Countess of Wessex, 1999
Samantha Shaw was tasked with designing and making a dress for the wedding of Sophie Rhys-Jones (now the Countess of Wessex) to the Queen's youngest son, Prince Edward. The long-sleeved style was embellished with 325,000 cut glass and pearl beads.
12 of 18Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, 2005
Camilla's embroidered coat in pale blue and gold and matching chiffon gown were designed by Robinson Valentine for her wedding to the Prince of Wales at St George's Chapel, Windsor. Her statement headpiece – which featured Swarowski diamonds – was the handiwork of the royal family's favourite milliner, Philip Treacy.
13 of 18Autumn Phillips, 2008
Canadian-born Autumn Kelly opted for a classic gown by British designer Sassi Holford, which featured a bodice fashioned from hand-beaded lace and a silk duchesse skirt, worn with a beaded shrug. The Festoon tiara which the bride wore on the day was borrowed from the collection of her mother-in-law, Princess Anne.
14 of 18Zara Tindall, 2011
Zara Phillips wore a simple, classic gown with a full skirt and corseted bodice by Stewart Parvin, one of her grandmother the Queen's favourite couturiers, when she married rugby player Mike Tindall at Canongate Kirk in Edinburgh. The diamond tiara was the bride's 'something borrowed,' a loan from her mother Princess Anne.
15 of 18Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, 2011
Sarah Burton of Alexander McQueen landed the biggest fashion gig of the century so far when she was chosen by Kate Middleton to design a dress for her Westminster Abbey wedding to Prince William. The gown itself was made from ivory satin with long lace sleeves and floral motifs which were cut from machine-made lace then appliqued onto silk net by workers at the Royal School of Needlework.
16 of 18Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, 2018
We all know that Givenchy's Clare Waight Keller designed Meghan Markle's wedding dress, but there's a fun fact about the detailing. The flowers embroidered into the veil represent the 53 nations of the Commonwealth, a nod to Prince Harry's role as Youth Ambassador.
17 of 18Princess Eugenie of York, 2018
Princess Eugenie had a very particular request when it came to her wedding dress, which designer Peter Pilotto accommodated. He designed her dress with a low-back as to reveal the scars from her scoliosis surgery.
18 of 18Lady Gabriella Windsor, 2019
Lady Gabriella Windsor walked down the aisle in a Luisa Beccaria gown, which as made "entirely in Valencienne écru lace layered with ribbons of flowers and buds" says the designer.