Yesterday we brought you in defence of living up North. Today, we thought we’d better counter things with the London lot with a few thoughts on why living down South is also excellent. Especially as London has just been revealed to be the most popular destination for tourists this year. Take that Bangkok.
The problem is, as anyone who lives in London knows, while there are days we can’t get enough of the capital and proudly declare it ‘the best city in the world!’ (sunshine helps how frequently this gets said), there’s always days when the thought of getting on a sweaty tube with a whole bunch of people who hate you and everyone around you is a little bit testing.
So here’s the best and worst things about living in London.
BEST! You stay forever young!
You’re living with your best friends because you can’t afford to buy a house and the amount of money you spend on takeaway coffees means having a fun-inhibiting child pre-35 looks nigh on impossible. There’s also a (theoretically) endless supply of men (thanks Tinder!) so the thought of settling down right this moment seems a bit silly. Bascially, grown-up responsibilities? Not exactly a ‘thing’ right now, thanks.
WORST! You stay forever young
That smug feeling you always secretly harboured over your friend that stayed at home while you went off to London to pursue your glittering career in the media has kind of been waning since you found out that she paid off her mortgage, moved up to management level at her job (that’s what she was doing for those three years you were pissing about at university), and just went on her second holiday outside of Europe this year.
You on the other hand, live in a box, are constantly penniless and just broke up with the man that might possibly have been The One because you were ‘too young to settle down’.
BEST! There’s so much stuff to do always!
There’s a pop-up restaurant in Soho, a new street food stall in Shoreditch, a Beyoncé exercise class on Saturday and a new play that’s taking place on an abandoned routemaster bus on Sunday.
You’re just so cultured all the time, you can practically just step out your front door and soak it all in – almost literally if you count your next door neighbour’s ever-pungent bin as a piece of modern art commenting on cutbacks in the local council.
WORST! There’s so much stuff to do always
Once you’ve scheduled in the Beyoncé class and accepted the play isn’t going to happen (£55 for a man reading Mother Courage in Polish? No thanks), you’re left with precisely 45 minutes to like, totally get some ‘me’ time this week.
This isn’t even taking into account the agitation you feel when you realise on Friday that you missed the Q+A with the director of that new film at the Curzon on Tuesday.
BEST! Tourists!
Visitors to London are expected to spend over $19 billion in our city this year. How much did you spend? Erm, due to your minimal salary, we’re going to go for whatever the bare minimum was. Oops.
Here’s where we sheepishly thank tourists for keeping our favourite shops, cafes, and parks running.
WORST! Tourists
Slow, clueless and the subject of neverending eye-rolls, grumpy ‘hrmphs’ and outright xenophobia from ‘true’ Londoners, visitors from overseas taking in the sights of our fair city are like, so annoying when they don’t know their way and just stand in the middle of the street.
How frustrating it is when you want to zip down Oxford Street with all the finesse and swagger of someone who knows the lay of the land to be halted in your tracks for all over five seconds by a group of Japanese grannies taking pictures of the outside of M&S. Jeez.
BEST! Famous people!
There’s something to be said for nipping out on your lunch break and reaching for the last sandwich at the same time as Keira Knightley, or bumping into Ed Sheeran in your local Costcutters (true story, bro).
Heading back to the office to reveal loudly that you just queued up behind Harry Styles at Nike Town brings with it all the accolade normally reserved for trumphant warrior homecomings in the medieval times. LOOK what you achieved with your lunch hour, you clever sausage. You saw a man buy some socks! Result.
WORST! Famous people
Firstly, you never really actually see the good ones. There’s a reason why you’ve seen Faye from Steps three times this month and Kate Moss never.
Plus, there’s always that weird tourettes style thing you tend to get when drunk – *do *you need to tell an ex-Blue Peter presenter that her dress is really nice and the way she cut up loo rolls on the show was what inspired you to go into the creative industry? Probably not.
Is that going to stop you at all? Not a chance.
Follow Jess on Twitter @jess_commons
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.