You know when you go to loo and do your business and your poo JUST ISN’T GLITTERY ENOUGH? Don’t you just hate that?!
Well, it’s a hardship that you will no longer have to endure because some genius (lunatic) called Tobias Wong has invented a pill that will give you gold, glittery shit. Yep, you heard us right, for the bargain price of £275, you can now purchase pills filled with 24-karat gold leaf that will literally make your shit glitter. You couldn’t make this stuff up.
But if you thought that was enough to sufficiently shake the pill-producing world into a stunned silence you’d be wrong because there has been a whole plethora of new pills hitting the market this week, ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous.
So here’s that round-up of the best ones that you didn’t know you wanted until now. You’re welcome.
**A pill that makes your farts smell of chocolate **
So a 65-year-old Frenchman called Christian Poincheval has invested a pill that not only eases indigestion but also makes your farts smell like chocolate or roses. Yep. Ok.
On his website, Christian describes how he had the brainwave for the pills – which are made from all natural ingredients and will set you back £7.90 for a batch of 60 – when he was having a dinner party with friends.
‘We were at the table with friends and after a hearty meal, our farts were so smelly, we nearly suffocated. The winds were not very pleasant for our fellow diners. Something had to be done.’
It’s difficult to argue with his logic.
**READ MORE: A Pill To Make You Go Off Drinking Is Available on Prescription **
**Pills to stop you being a booze hound **
Soon, tens of thousands of people in Britain who drink more than three glasses of wine nightly, will be given a daily pill to reduce their urge to drink. Nalmefene, which costs £3, supposedly reduces the urge to drink and can cut alcohol consumption by as much as two-thirds after six months. Consumers will be eligible for the tablet if they can’t reduce their alcohol intake on their own. Sounds bloody marvellous to us.
A pill to make you live forever(ish)
Scientists in Russia are testing out a new formula, which they claim will delay the onset of the aging process. Apparently, the tablet, which they have been testing on fish, dogs, mice and rats, will allow people to live to at least 120. Researcher Dr Maxim Skulachev, from the Moscow State University project, said that it’s a ‘new type of antioxidant’ that has an impact on the energy producing part of the cell, which means that ‘a lot of aging diseases developed much slower.’
To be honest, we’ve aged about a million years looking into all these pills. Where do we sign up?
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.