There's nothing like cracking open the grog on Christmas day and three hours later having to hold your mum's hair back while she voms in a loo. Actually, this has never happened to me because my parents usually end up asleep - but, in saying that, last year my dad drank a bottle of red wine and set fire to my sister's hair. He also kept standing on the furniture. This is preferable to my mate who has to watch his dad's red wine intake so he doesn't spout racist immigration policies while putting his leg up on a chair, but still requires management.
However, it's not all bad - you can get drunk with your parents and have a great time. One year when we spent Christmas abroad, we all drank so much vodka we ended up videoing ourselves doing swimming races at around 1am and my mum nearly drowned in the pool. Woo.
What you should do if you get drunk with your parents
DO: have an activity planned
If you're sitting around caining it all day, make sure there's some entertainment. What you choose depends on what sort of drunk you and your parents become - antagonistic? Probably don't play Pictionary, Charades, or any game. Stick on the TV instead. Lively and hilarious? Play Pictionary, Charades or any game. Fancy getting nostalgic? Watch home movies. Do you tend to cry when drunk? Don't watch home movies. Try Cranium or going for a walk with the dog. Or buying a dog so you can take something for a walk.
DO: Make sure everyone's sitting on a sofa/chair/sofachair at every possible opportunity
The more comfortable you are, the more likely you all are to fall asleep. Especially considering how full you are, and how early you started drinking (10am). An asleep drunk family is a happy drunk family, even if that happy drunk family have to go vom afterwards. 'My parents kept feeding me G&Ts on Boxing Day as I watched Pride and Prejudice (1995 BBC miniseries, natch) and they cooked lunch. I passed out at the table and had to go to my room to vom and sleep, then came back down and continued the party,' says my mate Natalie. 'Do I regret it? It was the best Boxing Day of my life.'
DO: Reminisce about Christmases Gone By
Getting your mum started about the first time she met your dad, or the first Christmas they spent together, is a great way to keep away from any crying (apart from happy tears) and you'll also all bond loads because none of you can see properly. Then move it onto past Christmases you've all spent together - from the time the dog ate a bauble and nearly died to the year dad was in a cast after going down a hill on a sledge standing up (again, this is my dad). Even the bad Christmases are worth remembering and will make you feel all fuzzy and warm and up for falling asleep on the sofa.
**DO: Know beforehand how to cook a roast **
Sometimes, the parent responsible for cooking the Christmas dinner gets stressed-drunk and you may have to take over the last half an hour of prep, so it's a good idea to know what you're doing. My friend Claire has a solid alternative, though: 'One year my mum drank too much from the stress of organising the roast dinner, so I set her up on a stool with a cup of coffee while she slurred instructions at me,' she says. 'The broccoli was soft and sickly but the roast potatoes were perfect.'
What you shouldn't do if you get drunk with your parents
DON'T: Get so hammered that you vom in front of family members
Vomming in the loos in your own flat is alright because it's still sort of rock and roll (if only done on rare occasions), but vomming on your Gran's shoes in front of your six year old cousin could cause problems. Or your parents booking you into rehab. You'll feel horrific for the rest of the day and, crucially, won't be able to keep an eye on your dad who keeps eyeing up the table and flexing his leg muscles.
**DON'T: Bring up sensitive topics **
Not the time to tell them you took back the boyfriend who cheated on you, haven't done your taxes for two years, resent them for not paying for your tuition fees or wish they were more 'warm and giving'. Not only is everyone pissed, but it's Christmas, so you'll get a lot of 'IT'S CHRISTMAS' shouted at you before someone stands on a table. Starting to think that it's just my family who like standing on tables.
**DON'T: Shout 'Let's all play strip poker' **
'I once drank two bottles of wine in two hours and when my aunt asked what we should do after dinner, yelled "LET'S ALL PLAY STRIP POKER"' says my friend Harriet. 'There was a really awkward silence and I wouldn't recommend doing this.' Not sure what's worse: the fam feeling awkward, or the fam enthusiastically wanting to join in. Probably the latter.
**DON'T: Drink four different types of sweet liqueur **
Christmas is a time for cracking open the drinks cabinet and imbibing literally anything weird you can get your hands on. Sherry, cream liqueur, weird thick orange stuff, goo that tastes like raspberry and makes you gag - what other time of the year do you neck all of this in one day? There's a reason for it: you're going to get a sugar high, followed by a sugar crash that hits when you start feeling hungover which will mean everyone will be pretty much dead by 4pm. And Boxing Day will be a pain like no other. So maybe try some of that creamy gooey stuff the colour of emeralds, and then stick to the same drink. And advise your parents to do the same.
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Follow Stevie on Twitter: @5tevieM
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.