Picture the scene: you've had a few spritzers (a lot, and not spritzers) and you're waiting at a bus stop because you've missed the last tube in the centre of town. You find yourself dropping off due how late it is and, maybe, the sheer amount of alcohol you've drunk only to be woken up by someone tugging at your clothes. Except it isn't a someone, it's a goddamn fox trying to get your trousers off.
This is what happened to Steve Gould, while waiting for a bus home to Thurrock, Essex.
'I must have passed out and woke up at half past three, looked down and saw the fox nibbling on my trainers,' he said. 'It must've woken me. When I came to, I just thought, 'what the hell'. I thought, 'what the hell are you doing?'
It was just curious - I wasn't scared at all because it seemed to be saying either, 'come with me and have an adventure' or 'get your kit off'. I immediately reached for phone my phone in my pocket and managed to get a few shots. It didn't flinch or move or anything - he was absolutely fearless.'
After a few minutes, the fox apparently ran off leaving nothing but a few teeth marks on Steve's trainers. For the sake of your trainers and your sanity: don't fall asleep at bus stops in foxy areas.
Debrief contributor Jenn Crothers recently had a similar experience, where she found herself drunkenly sitting in a park having a great time when a fox ran over, took her purse and keys in its mouth, and disappeared into the undergrowth. Essentially she got mugged by a fox.
The lesson of the day? Be careful. Foxes are tricksy bastards.
Like this? You might also be interested in...
A Drunk Squirrel Caused £300 Worth Of Damage At A Members Club
This Story Of True Dog Friendship Will Melt You Into A Puddle
Follow Stevie on Twitter: @5tevieM
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.