Things You Only Know If You’ll Spend Christmas 10,000 Miles Away From Your Family

Christmas day is the one day of the I’ve always looked forward to the most. It’s ‘our day’. I’m an only child so it tends to be quiet and intimate, with my mum cooking us a delicious feast – typically a mix of roast chicken and veggies, coupled with some Sri Lankan curries. We spend most of the day in a blurry but comforting food coma, topped off with mince pies, novelty chocolates and a few glasses of wine. The scent of my mum’s signature Christmas cake lingers in the air as we melt into the sofas for an evening of festive films. Bliss.

But this Christmas Day won’t look anything like that. For a start, I’ll be 10,000 miles away from my parents. When I began dating my fiancé Brad, six years ago, it didn’t occur to me that one day we would be forced to split our lives across two continents during a global pandemic. Yet that’s the situation we have found ourselves in.

Brad is from South Australia, while I’m from south London; we met while working abroad and knew very quickly this was a relationship that we wanted to last. Despite being from opposite sides of the planet,

we have managed life between our homes and families in two countries. To do this takes a lot of planning and flexibility; it isn’t as frivolous as it might seem on social media. Still, people often comment that we are fortunate to be able to maintain this lifestyle – and they’re right. We’ve been incredibly lucky.

Then coronavirus struck. When the

UK’s national lockdown began in March, we isolated in south London to be near

my parents, who were shielding. There

was no question of where I wanted to be

at that moment. We helped out by shopping for groceries, picking up medication and embraced socially distanced conversations across the garden when restrictions finally began to ease.

By July, Australia – which had faired quite well until then – began to see a dramatic rise in cases. Their government had already closed the country to non- citizens and were now reducing incoming flight capacity, meaning most planes could only carry between 30 and 50 people. Brad’s chances of getting home to see his parents were dwindling by the day and it was starting to affect him deeply, so we decided to fly out while we still could.

Once in Australia, as weeks turned into months, it became clear that planning our leave would not be straight forward. The strict controls have remained in place. We had wanted to stay for three months and return to the UK as winter – and a potential second wave – loomed there. But as time went on it became apparent that if I were

to head home for Christmas, Brad couldn’t join me, and there would be a good chance we would be separated for a long time. With that in mind, I found myself forced to choose between my two worlds.

I was crushed. Not least because Christmas week will mark nearly a year since I last set foot in my childhood home and gave my parents a hug. Now it looks like it could be several more months before I can see them again, let alone receive that embrace we are all longing for. It’s heartbreaking and makes me feel utterly helpless.

However, the news of the vaccine and the idea that the end is in sight has helped me come to terms with the fact that this Christmas will have to be different. Thankfully, I will be with Brad and his family – and I already know everyone will rally around to help me feel better. Their family is much bigger than mine, with three gorgeous children running around, so most of the day will be spent in the garden or playing board games. Christmas falls in summer here, which means the sun will be shining, there will be a barbecue sizzling away (and yes, there will probably be a few clichéd shrimps on there, too) and the alcohol will be flowing.

A wintery backdrop will be replaced by cloudless skies; festive TV will be swapped for the Boxing Day test cricket match. I’m going to be Zooming my parents as much as I can – Mum has even offered to send over a selection of her best Sri Lankan recipes to introduce my in-laws to. Still, I have braced myself for some emotional moments. I have no doubt the day will be special, but I know I will ache for that familiar sense of peace that I have at home with Mum and Dad.

I never imagined I’d have to make choices between the people I love most in the world, or be separated from family at a time when we need each other more than ever. So many of us have felt this over the last nine months. If nothing else, this year has taught me how much I took my freedom and loved ones for granted. I won’t be doing that again.