You know how it is: you’ve matched with a chap on Tinder, you meet him for drinks and things start to go wrong almost immediately. For starters, heavy lashings of the Valencia filter on his profile picture mean he’s less a young Sean Bean and more an older, fatter version of Dapper Laughs (shudders). Secondly, he used the word ‘chat’ within the first five seconds – as in, he claimed to have ‘great chat’, a promise that he magnificently fails to live up to as the date drags on. FFS.
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Now, being the nice well-brought up lady you are, you’re not going to cut the date short via an ill-advised scarpering out of the bathroom window (getting stuck is like, the least of your worries when you take into consideration the fact that you’re on the third floor). Instead, you’ll probably soldier on for as long as is considered polite before making your excuses and running home for a long, hot, self-loathing shower.
Imagine then, if you will, if there was an app that would be able to disentangle you from this very situation without the fear of being perceived as a terrible person (that uncontrollable need to please others really can be a bugbear sometimes). Well, meet Dorothy, the new creation that’s going to solve all of your dating woes.
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Based on the concept of Dorothy in The Wizard Of Oz clicking her heels three times to return home, Dorothy the app works via the medium of a little device called Ruby that you drop in your shoe. By clicking your heels (or sneakers) together, Dorothy will provide a number of services to you which include getting a fake contact to call your mobile during your date (‘Oh no, it’s my boss! Must dash!’) and alerting your friends to where you are (‘This guy’s making me feel unsafe, here’s my location’).
Dorothy’s just a prototype at the moment, but they’re looking at adding extra features to the real thing, such as the ability to hail an Uber to pick you up from said terrible date, and ordering a pizza for when you arrive home. Which might just round off the app’s complete magnificence.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.