The previously docile and low-key affair of the annual Newlyn Fish Festival managed to ramp up the ante a little this year making everyone’s worst portaloo nightmare a reality for one unlucky festivalgoer.
As if the misfortune of using one of these plastic poo-housing structures wasn’t enough for punters, an unamed woman was unlucky enough to find herself inside a portaloo when it was picked up by a forklift truck and moved to a different area of the festival.
The female victim of Newlyn’s Portaloo-Gate was carried to the other side of the festival site before emerging injury free, but slightly shocked from the plastic vessel. One spokesperson for the harbour genuinely suggested that the unfortunate woman might have mistaken her portaloo experience for ‘teleportation’ (she definitely didn’t, mate).
Perhaps the most shocking part of the whole story, though, comes from the directors of Andyloos himself, Mark Kempthorne. Apparently, not only has Mark known this to happen before (‘quite a few times, if I’m honest’), he’s also ‘done it a few times’ himself, as well.
Ladies, when you can’t even trust the head of the portaloo company not to pick you up in a forklift truck while you’re having a wee, then may we suggest you look for a nearby bush next time?
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.