We all know that certain aspects of work culture just don't - well - work for women. Whether it's parenting unfriendly hours, the pay gap or the fact that women tend to earn less after having children while men tend to earn more: something's got to give.
But is it really fair that all of the advice about fighting the good fight for equality hinges on women changing their behaviour? We put the question to our careers experts, Sue Unerman, who is CTO of MediaCom, and Katherine Jacob OBE, chief executive at Pearl and Dean.
KJ: I agree with you that men need to be part of change. As the suffragettes said: 'We have to free one half of the population in order to free the other half'. So many men would benefit from better sharing of parenting, flexible working and other things that can seem more available to women. If men felt more able to express themselves and bring their whole selves to work, perhaps we wouldn’t have the issues around mental health in such a gendered way.
SU: Part of the problem though, is that many men don’t see what is in it for them at the moment from such a change. The workplace has been designed in most cases for men, and by men. And in particular for men with full time stay at home partners, especially at the top echelons of the company. Kathryn is right though, this doesn’t suit all of them. Research from Deloitte in 2014 said that 45% of straight white men feel that they must ‘cover’ at work, ie pretend to be other than they really are. however, there’s still a majority that really like the current system. It works for them, and they do well out of it. One friend said that she’d recently asked her colleagues who are alpha men whether there was anything in the current climate that troubled them. They couldn’t think of a single thing. In this circumstance you need to shift the conversation so that everyone can see what is in it for them if things change.
KJ: We need to change this conversation from it being one side versus the other and talk more about our shared values and ambitions. No-one goes to work to feel less valued or to come across as if they are failing to contribute. Yet so many companies position options in a way that leaves some people out and as only being available to a particular group of people. I came across a company where there was no great uptake of shared parental leave despite this being offered to everyone. After some investigation it turned out that this was because all of the documentation referred to working mothers, rather than working parents. The company clearly thought that it was obvious that it applied to both parents, but that seemingly small barrier excluded working dads and even made some of them feel that the company was biased against them.
SU: Equally if there are lots of fast track promotion training schemes for women, men who need help can feel as though they’re excluded. Whilst this might seem a reasonable measure given the situation in terms of the boards of many businesses and their skew towards men, if you are a young man with ambition, you may well feel that this is unfair to you and unwarranted. Opportunity for everyone and a culture of belonging is what is necessary for things to change. Not taking an already unequal balance and shifting it in another unequal direction.
KJ: Here’s a practical suggestion for creating change in your work environment. You need to establish a connection and support network with men too in your company. Its so much easier if someone asks a difficult question on your behalf for example, regarding flexible working hours, sabbaticals etc. if you work somewhere where you feel as though asking that question can create problems in terms of seeming less dedicated to your job. Also having someone with a different point of view gives you access to the bigger picture and gives you access to a different type of support.
SU: I really like what June Sarpong OBE says when she advises everyone to 'Check your circle'. If everyone in your circle looks and sounds the same as you, then your circle isn’t wide enough. Such a circle may feel extremely comfortable, and you may find it wonderfully unchallenging in a world of constant challenge. But it doesn’t really do you much good, just like eating sweets all day, it feels lovely at the time, but won’t be good for your teeth or health. Make sure that you’ve got some different perspectives in your circle at work. You can provide a different perspective to one of those men who you believe needs to change, and he can do the same for you. Be open minded, and remember that you might have to talk his language to begin with, but soon you will find a way of properly communicating and winning him over to a better way of behaving and thinking.
KJ: Taking a broader view across the whole workplace rather than thinking its just men who need to change is important too. Sometimes there might be issues with other women who like the current status quo, it has got them where they are today, and they have no issues with it. That broader view gives you an understanding and perspective of the challenges that everyone faces regardless of gender, and that can only be a good thing, and make you a better work colleague and friend. It can be easy to be stuck in a silo especially if you work to tight deadlines. Look up and around, reach out, it is always a good thing.
SU: And remember the wise words of my chair Karen Blackett OBE: 'You can only change the world, by changing your world'.
Sue and Kathryn’s book The Glass Wall, Success Strategies For Women At Work And Businesses That Mean Business is available from Amazon.
Have you got a question you’d like Sue and Kathryn to answer? Email your questions to feedback@graziamagazine.co.uk. Please note, we will be unable to respond to every single question we receive, and will not be able to respond to any questions personally.