Yes, people. This is an actual thing that happened in the sleepy town of Evesham, Worcestershire. Speaking to BBC News, the secretary of Honeybourne Railway club, Sam Boulter, said that at first he thought someone had broken in, until he saw a squirrel ‘staggering around’ after coming out from behind a box of crisps.
Which makes sense because the best drunk food is undeniably crisps.
Apparently, the creature had managed to turn on the Caffrey’s tap, which indicates that he/she’s more of an ale than a lager drinker. And after causing an estimated £300 worth of damage in drinks spillage/smashed glasses, the squirrel was eventually caught ‘in a wastepaper bin’ and released out of the window, which could totally be worse – I know people who know people who have had less dignified drunken exits than this (It’s me. I’ve had undignified exits).
This reminds me of the time that squirrels were getting high on crack in Brockwell Park. Those were the days (I wasn’t there but our editor was, and she said they were great days, so that confirms it).
Sam then went on to say that, ‘He was sozzled and looked a bit worse for wear, shall we say.’ Which, incidentally, is exactly how I’m planning on spending my weekend. WHO’S WITH ME?
Oh and here’s a video of a squirrel (allegedly) going crazy on crack.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.