You’ve probably seen photos of Donald Trump’s teeny tiny reptilian hand clutching onto the just as uncomfortably positioned hand of Theresa May by now. It wasn’t photoshopped by a funny, funny internet meme wizard, it was a thing that happened. In real life. They held hands.
Some backstory though. Theresa May nipped over to the States to visit President Trump to try and work on the UK’s ‘special relationship’ (vom) with the US. So when a picture emerged of Trump and May walking hand in hand around the White House, it was plausible to interpret that our special relationship with the US had become even more, erm, special. Because try and name another political leader that Trump has held hands with. Thought so.
But then new information came out to play. A piece of information that I refuse to believe anyone could have seen coming. Because sorry, but no. We found out that Donald Trump is scared of stairs.
Trump apparently has bathmophobia, the very real fear of falling down stairs or slopes, reported The Times, which according to a Downing Street source, is the real reason he clawed at Theresa May’s hand. They aren’t close pals. They haven’t reached first base. Donald just really didn’t want to miss his step.
Don't get me wrong. Phobias are not a thing to be taken lightly. It's just that the notion of Trump, as in President of the United States Donald Trump, is legitimately so petrified that he very publically clutched Teresa May's hand to make it down a slope, is more than a bit confusing.
It’s confusing because we’re pretty sure we’ve seen Trump master both stairs and slopes all on his own many a time before. In fact, much of his existence as the unfortunate face of the United States of America involves climbing steps or slopes of some kind, does it not? Okay, stay with me here... You know all those awful rallies on his campaign trail? The ones where he gave 'speeches'? Pretty sure those platforms had to be climbed up to somehow. Those private jets aren't boarded by teleportation. Oh no, there are steps involved. And I definitely missed the bit on inauguration day when Melania gave Donald a piggy back up those famous steps. ?
So what’s the sketch, Trump? What’s up? What have we missed? Is this really a legitimate thing that you struggle with? Because at the very least, we're skeptical and would like to know how you manage to go about your day when Theresa May isn't around to hold your hand and get you through it.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.