‘I Haven’t Seen Her Since She Found Out She Was Having Our Twins.’ Meet The Couples Who Are Isolating Apart

‘Although you want to see each other, there are other people that you have to put in front of yourself,’ says Hannah, 23, who is isolating separately from her boyfriend, James, 24, of five years. ‘It’s a very strange time to be apart from your boyfriend, but after this is all over, we can spend all the time we need together.’

The couple, who usually live in different houses, decided to isolate separately after James’s flatmate contracted what they thought was COVID-19 a few weeks ago. ‘It’s a little frustrating that we are geographically close as we both live in London,’ Hannah continues, while adding that they are staying connected by FaceTiming ‘more than usual.’

Like Hannah, David, 25, is also isolating without his partner, Kate, 23, who recently found out she is pregnant. ‘It’s very difficult being apart at times and I’m desperate to go over and support her,’ David explains. ‘But she and I (an asthmatic) are both on the government's list of people who really shouldn’t leave the house. So, we are both reluctant to put each other at risk.’

David describes that the situation feels ‘surreal’ and ‘intense’. ‘I haven’t seen her since she found out she was having our twins, so we haven’t had a proper conversation face to face,’ he continues. ‘Not being able to talk about what we’re going through in person is very difficult indeed. There are things that we need to be discussing; living arrangements, godparents, names etc and it's quite tricky to do this over the phone.’

‘I just want to give her a big cuddle and tell her everything is going to be ok,’ David continues. ‘I send her memes to cheer her up and call her whenever she’s down but it’s not the same as looking into her eyes and telling her that I love her.’

Jenny McGibbon, who has chronic fatigue (ME), is also living apart from her partner Ryan for ‘precautionary measures.’ ‘I have ME so I’m in the higher risk category who have been told to isolate for 12 weeks,’ she explains, adding that she is finding the experience challenging. ‘On top of all the sort of additional stress that everyone's dealing with at the moment, obviously, I still have all my chronic illness symptoms. My pain and fatigue has flared up because of the stress.’

‘I've been so used to isolation for years now,’ Jenny continues. ‘I'm used to not leaving the house and not seeing friends, but Ryan’s been my one link to normality. I miss waking up next to him, a cuddle from behind as I make us lunch, falling asleep holding his hand. I always actively appreciate these things, but now even more so. In times of stress and upheaval we crave comfort and security more than ever.’

As an Instagram artist (@thisthingtheycallrecovery{ =nofollow}) who illustrates issues related to chronic illness and disability, the online community, Jenny explains, has become a profound lifeline. ‘For me, it's beneficial to create work that helps me process what I'm going through. It's helpful for us to talk to each other and keep communication open, and we're all sort of dealing with similar things at the minute.’

Lucy Beresford, Ashley Madison’s relationship expert, believes that couples should take advantage of the online world throughout this crisis. ‘It's important to establish an online routine with your partner, so calling each other at, say, 6pm every night. It’s good to give yourself something to look forward to,’ says Lucy, adding that having virtual dinners, learning something together (‘a language or yoga,’ she suggests) or virtually touring an art gallery might help you feel more connected. ‘This time could make a lot of relationships stronger; it will give people the time and the space to really focus on what they want, and how to communicate.’

Some names have been changed.

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