What It’s Like For Single People Living On Their Own During Lockdown

It’s been more than two months since Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced a full UK lockdown in order to curb the spread of coronavirus and of course, it's caused quite the upheaval in many people’s lives. Some people have lost their source of income because their work cannot be done from home, quite a few parents who once dreamt of spending more time with their children are now struggling with them being around so much, and plenty of couples have been torn apart by the choice to either isolate together or apart.

Then there are those who are living the truest form of self-isolation: as singletons who live on their own, unlikely to interact IRL with another person until this is (waves hands in the general direction of everything) over. For Ellie, 29, a customer experience manager from Brixton, the prospect of being completely alone was daunting.

‘When I first heard the lockdown press conference I had a little cry,’ says Ellie. ‘The idea of being completely on my own for a month - at the time - at least seemed very overwhelming.’

Lesley, 39, a publicity manager from East London, has a chronic pain condition called ankylosing spondylitis which makes her an at-risk individual. ‘I have to be particularly careful when it comes to COVID-19 and self-isolation as my dad also falls into the at-risk category,’ she says. ‘I just felt it safer for all to keep apart and, as much as I love my parents, the three of us being under the same roof for who knows how long is a guaranteed recipe for disaster!’

Sarah, 30, a marketing manager from Brixton, chose to self-isolate alone because she wanted to be surrounded by her home comforts. ‘There was a point where I could’ve moved back to my dad’s for a bit,' she explains. ‘I didn’t because he lives in a small town and I didn’t want to be a super-spreader. But also, I really love my flat! If I went anywhere else I think I’d get angsty about not having my own place or bed or books or films.’

I’m the same as Sarah. My parents live up North and as much as I love them, if I had moved home I would feel like I had regressed to a childlike state and lose any sense of self and autonomy. I’m also an asthmatic which means, like Lesley, I’m at an increased risk of suffering serious illness from COVID-19 so I’m actually in my third week of lockdown. I thought to myself, it’s better to be safe than sorry by social distancing as early as possible - and as a freelance writer, I’m lucky that it hasn’t really affected my daily routine.

I write, I watch TV and films, I video-call my friends and family, I eat, I exercise, I clean, boy, do I clean. I don’t think my flat has ever been this tidy since I moved in. I’m doing chores that I never normally do, like ironing or descaling the kettle. My mum is so proud. If anything, this pandemic has forced me to be more productive and less prone to procrastination, which is usually caused by going out and socialising too much. But I do recognise that I don’t struggle with the same mental health issues as others in the same situation.

Angelica, 30, is a writer from Chicago who believes she is ‘privileged’ to be able to work from her home, where she lives with her two cats, but admits to feeling ‘achingly lonely.’ She is also diagnosed with anxiety and bipolar disorder II. ‘Staying level when it comes to my mental health has been difficult,’ she explains. ‘The anxiety and depression have been the toughest part of self-isolation. Thankfully, I have Zoom therapy sessions once a week which have been very helpful.’

Sarah describes herself as a ‘solitary creature,’ but she has been struggling to sleep. ‘Nights are pretty hard,’ she says. ‘when I go to bed my brain is a hive of panic so sleeping is proving tricky.’

The same goes for Lesley. ‘Every night I simply cannot fall asleep however hard I try,’ she says. ‘I’m working my way through the Calm app with mixed success but I can’t shake this niggling feeling of terror that if I fall asleep I’m going to wake up with a temperature and a cough and that’ll be it.’

This focus on keeping one’s mental health in check has meant putting dating on the back burner for some of these single women. Ellie has deleted all of her dating apps because she didn’t like the ‘vibe’ off her lockdown interactions. ‘People want an immediacy to interactions that weren’t there before,’ she says. ‘I guess lots of people are getting lonely and don't know how to handle it.’

There is a certain air of desperation emanating from some single individuals on apps trying to find connections in this new, isolated world. I did see one person put in their bio that they were looking for their ‘quarantina,’ which was particularly cringe-worthy. However, I matched with someone and enjoyed a video chat with them this week, while Sarah says she has finally had the courage to reach out to someone on her romantic radar. ‘There is a guy I was going to ask out before this all happened and we’ve set up a couple of Skype chats,’ she says, ‘but I’m now in the zone of, “Do I tell him I like him?”’

‘Before this all went down, I was lazily dating but not really enjoying it or putting all that much effort into it,’ Angelica says of her dating situation. ‘I am not dating now or on any dating apps but being self-isolated has highlighted to me the importance of relationships, romantic and platonic. Whenever we're free to roam again, I definitely want to put more effort into my dating life. I want love in abundance.’

Until then, these single women have been able to cope with their loneliness and anxiety through the mechanisms that most of the world are using too. Ellie has been playing board games remotely with her friends, Sarah has been doing some creative writing, Lesley has been ‘experimenting more in the kitchen’ to come up with recipes for the ingredients in her cupboards and Angelica has been ‘planting herbs and watching them grow,’ to remind her ‘that life will continue in some fashion in the face of this chaos’.

That’s the kind of glass-half-full attitude one has to drink up, because though right now we are living a singular life, together we know this isolation has an expiration date.

Here’s hoping it’s sooner rather than later.

READ MORE: Terrified. Emotional. Uncertain. Lonely. Four Tales From The NHS Frontline