We all know that childcare is expensive - but what's the reality of making it work day in day out? And when childcare still falls disproportionately on women's shoulders, how can you go back to work and still make it pay? Each week we speak to a different mother about how she balances work and childcare.
Mel, 39, works in E-Commerce, London
Monthly income after tax of mother: £137.60 child benefit per month
Age of children: 6 months and 3.5 years
**Childcare arrangement: **Eldest at nursery 3 days per week, youngest home with mum
Amount of paid-for childcare: 3 days of nursery
**Cost of childcare: **£655 per month
Cost of travel: 0
Take home pay after bills, childcare and travel: 0
How I Make It Work For A Week
**Monday: **
Just back from our annual one week in the sun. Spent the whole summer’s fun budget so the big’un can enjoy the beach. I need to do the shop and plan the week’s meals to keep the Professionalgrocery bill down and avoid waste. I have the two children today, so have to find a way to entertain them both without resorting to screentime. Walk to a friend’s for a play date. We all eat homemade salad, pita bread and hoummos, the babies eat an avocado and some sweet potato (cheap!). I let the house out on Airbnb while we were away to cover travel costs. Now the babies are starting to wean that’s another addition to the grocery bill. I’m reminded I haven’t done our wills, so who knows who will get my one fancy handbag?
Total spend: £120
**Tuesday: **
The eldest heads to nursery. He loves it and gets so much out of it that it’s worth every penny. I used to be in a higher paying tax bracket and spend £930 per month, or £43 per day in nursery fees so I could work full time. My monthly Oyster card to travel to work in London cost £148.70. That was way more than my mortgage. Now with 15 free hours of nursery I only have to pay them £450 per month. If I can get the free 30 hours from September 2017 for the eldest I will only have to pay nursery fees for the baby, that will be £950 per month. There’s a major garden show on that I should visit for work but the air con is broken in the car and it’s right across town so I save £300 on repairs and £31 on a ticket.
Total spend: £43
**Wednesday: **
The second of my two “days off” this week – that’s what I call the days I only have to parent the baby – and I have ogled all the final sales online. I am not buying myself anything new while I’m on “maternity leave”. I have no maternity pay because I used to work on contracts. Rubbish, I’m fooling no-one. I’ll wait until final clearance and get some basics I’ve had my eye on. I have an itchy “buy it now” finger, so this is a real challenge. In my last job I stocked up on plenty of clothes for all seasons, much from “friends and family” sales from luxury fashion sites so I’m hardly suffering. There’s 20% off some of my top performing skincare, so I hit “buy”.
Total spend: £113
**Thursday: **
Today I’m stretching the roast chicken that was meant to last at least two meals with beans to make a filling, healthy meal. It’s the kind of thing you read about as peasant food, but someone in this house was hungry, aka greedy, at dinner and now I have to bulk it out. Economising on food becomes a reflex. On my first “maternity leave” mum friends and I used to think it nice to take the kids to lovely cafes and Gails. But as soon as you pay £5 for a sausage roll, the little cherubs will refuse to eat it or throw it on the floor. Homemade cheese sandwiches it is.
Total spend: £6.50
**Friday: **
Back to the maelstrom of having both at home. The playdate I lined up a week ago has cancelled. So we have to scramble to rearrange some fun. There is no right way to do this parenting lark, which makes it much harder than work. That and my tiny clients have me on a 24 hour retainer with no salary. The most shocking part of being at home with small children is having none of my own money. I have worked ever since it was legal to start at 14 and a half. From today I have a credit card linked to my husband’s account and he puts a small amount of cash into my account for sundries but this is a completely new experience to me. A friend rescues us and we have a splash in their paddling pool. Mum friends are worth thousands in counseling fees and they do it all for a piece of cake and glass of Prosecco. I take a bottle of Italian wine from our holiday to soothe nerves.
Total spend: £15
**Saturday: **
We have a child’s party for the NCT lot. They’re a lovely bunch and none of us expect big presents from each other. I spend £5 and take some homemade sugar-free food. I linger on chat about work because although I love every day with the baby, there was much I liked about work. We are all fortunate enough to have bought homes in London at low prices a few years ago, so although cash flow is tight, we have our property. Property can’t buy you an overpriced margarita and tapas in central London though!
Total spend: £7
**Sunday: **
My big one’s bike was stolen so I have to replace it. Poor little guy, his heart is broken. It was partly my fault as I was a bit distracted and left it because someone was talking to me. Your brain is always somewhere else – thinking of stopping the children hurting themselves, everything you have to do at home, how you had no sleep. Mum gives me an emergency fund that I will really try not to touch, because as a former single mother she is as uncomfortable as I am with me having none of my own money. I don’t know what I would do without her and my husband’s income.
Total spend: £39.95
We'd like to know how you make it work: if you'd like to feature in our series then email us at rebecca.cope@graziamagazine.co.uk with the subject line 'How I Made It Work'. (You can be anonymous).
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