Burn Your Coils! Bin That Yasmin! Male Birth Control Is Nearly Here!

Vasalgel is the first male birth control treatment to be moving into human trials. And we're pretty effing excited about it, for obvious reasons.


by Stevie Martin |
Published on

Vasalgel, aka male birth control, has been successfully tested on baboons and is expected to hit the shelves by 2017. The reversible birth control was recently injected into three male baboons. They were given free rein to bonk as many lady-baboons as possible, and none of the aforementioned lady-baboons spawned any baby-baboons. Boom.

In terms of how it works, Vasalgel is a non-hormonal polymer that blocks the vas deferens (the tube between the balls and penis where the sperm shoots up, for anyone not well-versed in male biology) and prevents the semen from making contact with any eggs that might be knocking about. No contact means zero chance of baby-makin’, despite the fact there’s a penis all up in your baby-makin’ grill. Is it OK to call vaginas ‘baby-makin’ grills’? Probs not.

Anyway, after one dose of the birth control, a man will be covered for an extended period of time, and did we mention that it’s non-hormonal? No crying, eating shitloads of cake or feeling like you want to kill everyone around you (hello Microgynon, you old bastard). We would be jealous, except the dosage has to be injected directly into the man’s bollocks, which isn’t a million miles away from having a coil rammed up your cervix. And, if your guy ever wants his sperm back, he can just go get another injection to release the little guys.

READ MORE: A Top Boarding School Has Run Out Of Morning After Pills

The Parsemus Foundation, which developed Vasalgel, could only do so via crowdfunding sites and independent donations, revealing that pharmaceutical companies are far more happy to ‘sell pills to men’s partners every month’, because of the big bucks they’re making off us. Charming.

But if this becomes as widespread as Parsemus expects, it’ll revolutionise sex not just for men, but also us women – no more pills chock full of side effects, no more invasive procedures, no more hormones pumped around our bodies in the form of an implant stuck inside our arms. Suddenly the responsibility will lie with the guys.

Roll on 2017.

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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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