My husband and I always knew we wanted a low-key wedding. We had three goals: to ensure everyone had a good time, to make our family to feel loved, and for us to get officially hitched - without making us bankrupt. Safe to say, we achieved that. I remember waking up the next day and basking in the glow of being a newly wed.
We predicted our budget would be around £5,000 when we got engaged. From there, it was a matter of working out what was necessary. My wedding dress was £90 from Debenhams, and I adored it. We got the plants and the decor from Ikea. I did my own makeup, and wore a £6 children's hairband from Accessorise. For my hair, I didn’t bother with any trials, just kept my fingers crossed and got an updo at the hotel hairdressers. I went downstairs with my mum after breakfast and both up dos were about £70 including tip! With our honeymoon and our rings, it all came in less than £7,000 - which was good considering we had about 95 guests.
We got married in a church in my husband's hometown, and our reception was in Bristol. We had to go between two different venues - it would have been nice to have the classic London bus, and jazz it up with a bar on it, but we decided not to fork out for that. We ended up hiring a normal coach to get people from A to B. I did get a friend to put a few cheap decorations on the bus, to liven it up, but we hoped our friends were able to amuse themselves on route (and we’re told they certainly did!).
We didn't even get a proper wedding car. When a friend of ours asked us what we wanted for a wedding present, we said: 'Would you mind upgrading your hire car a little bit?' It was fun having a friend drive me to the wedding. I even picked my flowers up from the florist on the way there, who said: 'I've never seen a bride just pop into the shop the morning of her wedding.' It might sound last minute, but I think it's important for brides not to worry too much about conforming to antiquated ideas or viral trends. All you need to think about is: 'What works for us?'
That's not to say we didn't feel the pressure in the lead up to our big day. We went to a lot of weddings before that felt beautiful and romantic, including one in a castle. But it's just a case of accepting everyone is different, and learning not to be jealous.
As with any wedding, the day had a few hiccups. We had a DJ who was recommended by the venue, but he ended up being an hour and a half late. We just played a mate’s ‘party playlist’ instead. My husband also had to deal with the fact that the coach broke down, and he had to spend hours finding a replacement that morning. But we'd already accepted that a wedding doesn't need to be perfect to be wonderful.
The highlight of my day was the speeches, which is something you can't put a price on. We didn't have the fanciest meal or the best band, but I knew we could give wonderful and hilarious speeches. I realised how important it was for me to thank all my friends for being there for me thought my single years, my mum for a lifetime of love and my husband for agreeing to tolerate me for the rest of his life. It was a chance to genuinely connect with everyone in the room, throw a few compliments in my groom’s direction (something that often gets overlooked) and add some laughter to the day. And, the cool thing? Good speeches don’t need to cost a thing.
Some people might find this a bit unusual, but my husband and I did blow part of our budget on elephant costumes for our first dance. We danced to Paradise by Coldplay, and in the video they dress as elephants - so naturally, my husband and I thought it would be a great idea. Nobody else knew why we were dressed like that, but it didn't matter. It was our special, slightly weird, but very ‘us’ moment.
I feel lucky that I got married in 2012, just before smartphones fully took over. There was already a bit of pressure to have the perfect wedding, but now it's all encompassing. It's so easy for brides to get sucked into all these trends and end up spending a fortune in the process. My day ended being a lot less stressful because we removed the pressure and expectation. I want more brides to feel they don't have to sweat the small stuff. It's your day, and no one elses, after all.
My day taught me that the real magic of a wedding isn’t in the aesthetic or the canapés - it’s in how everyone feels. That realisation (along with a desire to actually see my kids while they were growing up!) is what inspired me to leave telly and launch a bespoke wedding speechwriting business. Turns out, helping brides and grooms craft their own mini rom-com scripts is a lot more fulfilling than producing scripts for celebrity presenters.
Heidi Ellert-McDermott, author of The Modern Couples Guide to Wedding Speeches and the founder of the speechwriting service Speechy