Oh Boris, Boris, Boris.
It was only a matter of time before this happened. Only a matter of time before we’d all need to sit down for one of those chats. A chat about a cock up in a string of cock ups that has rocked the Brexit boat once more. A cock up by none other than the man who, in case you forgot, is our real-life-actual-no-not-joking-this-is-a-thing-that-they-actually-let-happen Foreign Secretary.
Boris Johnson had a meeting with Italy’s economic development minister, Carlo Calenda recently. Totally normal. They spoke about what the Brexit situation means for trade. As expected. Then they argued about prosecco and fish and chips…
Recounting the incident to Bloomburg TV, Calenda said: ‘[Boris’s] idea is “We want to have access to the common market without giving you access in terms of free circulation of people”, and I think this is wishful thinking’.
He said Boris’s response to this was: ‘OK, but you are selling a lot of what we call prosecco in the UK … and you will allow us to do this because you don’t want to lose prosecco exports’
To which Calenda replied: ‘Maybe we’re going to lose some prosecco, you’re going to lose some fish and chips exports. The difference is I’m going to lose to one country, you to 27, which means we need to find a balance′. Feel that burn? It’s the type of burn that stings for a while after the initial impact because it’s actually true. Except I don’t think anyone in Europe wants our fish and chips.
Calenda said ‘putting things on this level is a bit insulting’ and to be fair, reducing a subject as sensitive (and frustratingly inconclusive) as Brexit to the exchange of culturally stereotypical booze and food, no matter how flippantly, doesn't really sit right. However, Whitehall sources have insisted Boris’s prosecco comment was part of a ‘constructive’ conversation about future trade relations rather than an insult, reports the BBC.
The Italian minister went on to comment on the serious lack of understanding around what’s really going to happen with Brexit. He said: ‘My perception is that there is a lot of confusion and this is still an issue of internal political debate of the UK, which to be honest is not acceptable.
‘Somebody needs to tell us something, and it needs to be something that makes sense. You can’t say that it’s sensible to say we want access to the single market but no free circulation of people. It’s obvious that doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.’
The fact of the matter is, very little sense is being made around Brexit at all at the moment, which is fucking unsettling. To say the least.
It’s still not been confirmed whether or not we’ll need visas to visit Europe and we’re still not entirely sure about who has the power to stop or push Brexit through. Oh, and prior to this prosecco incident Boris paddled us into yet another wave of Br-unease (Brexit unease, geddit?) when he described the idea of the free movement of people being a founding principle of the EU (an idea that is widely held to be one of the four founding principles of the EU, btw) as ‘bollocks’.
So where does that leave us? Fumbling around in seriously murky waters without the foggiest of idea of which direction we're actually going to head in. We wouldn't blame you for reaching for a second (ahem, fourth?) glass of prosecco right about now.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.